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    Updated on Jul 16, 2020. Posted on Jun 25, 2018

    A Crash Course On Filipino Street Food, As Told By Filipino Street Food

    Talk dirty ice cream to me.

    Start the day with me. Manong shouts my name in the morning. I'm Taho, by the way.

    I'm sweet AF thanks to the arnibal (brown sugar syrup) that injects flavor into my basic soft tofu self. I also go a little extra with sago (tapioca pearls) on top!

    Yeah, you know me. I'm Fishball and I'm the queen bee of Filipino street food.

    Sure, I look like a flat piece of fish meat but don't be fooled! People are so obsessed with me. My friends Kikiam and Squidballs are totally jealous.

    Did she just say that? I think I can speak for the whole Squidball community. We are so tired of being dubbed as the less hot version of fishballs.

    Call us sexy round pieces of squid meat instead!

    I'm Kikiam and I'm not having any of this ball fight. I can be whatever I want—whether it's fish, shrimp or ground pork.

    And besides we're all being dipped in the same line of sauces.

    There's sweet and sour, spicy and vinegar. No double dipping please.

    Hold it right there. The vinegar belongs to me. Kwek-Kwek here.

    I'm a quail egg covered in orange-colored batter.

    I know my name sounds funny but you should take me seriously or I'll call on my main bitch, Tokneneng.

    She's made of hard-boiled chicken eggs!

    Awww, such friendship. It reminds me of Isaw Baboy and I.

    Mag wheels is his nickname because he looks like that motor wheel even if he's a roll of pig intestines.

    As for me, Isaw Manok, my family calls me IUD even if I'm a chicken's intestines.

    IUD is Intrauterine device. Look it up!

    Wow, I feel so left out. Let me walk away from this convo in my own grilled chicken feet. I'm the motherfucking Adidas, not the sneaker brand.

    I'm not listening to any of this shit. I'm Walkman; not the sound device. Just pig ears that happen to look like the outdated gadget.

    I can relate with being outdated! My name is Betamax. I was named after an '80s movie tape, for crying out loud. Why can't it be as direct to the point like 'grilled pork blood'?

    I'm a bit offended by this name-shaming. They like to call me Dirty Ice Cream when I'm not even completely dirty to begin with.

    People are only exaggerating about the 'dirty' word. I'm just exposed to the busy streets but that doesn't make me a bad ice cream! I got the realest flavors in ube (purple yam), mango and queso (cheese).

    Y'all being whiny. I say we caramelize all that shit. It works for me, Banana Cue.

    Saging na saba represent!

    And my wrapper-wearing banana BFF, Turon.

    My Ice Scramble self is too cool for you all. Look how pretty in pink I am. Top that with chocolate sprinkles, powdered milk and marshmallows.

    Special thanks to food coloring for my aesthetic.

    Nonsense. At the end of the day, you're not as great as a Balut like me.

    Disgusting? You're just scared. Delicious? Now that's what I'm all about. Start slurping on my soup and crack that shell open for the real treat inside. Don't forget salt bae to season me all he wants.