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1. A patchwork desk chair that — TBH — kinda looks like Sally from The Nightmare Before Christmas. Don't worry, though, the legs won't fall off.
2. An upholstered headboard in basically every print imaginable. I know you think I'm hyperbolizing, but it literally comes in 129 different styles.
3. A bright, locker-style storage cabinet that calls for some high school-style collaging. Hunt down those old copies of Tiger Beat you saved and get to cutting out the most ::swoon-worthy:: photos of Jonathan Taylor Thomas.
4. A neon planet for those whose dream home aesthetic is Pizza Planet — the family-friendly, space-themed establishment from Toy Story.
5. An eye-catching checkerboard coffee table that will have you strictly enforcing your coaster rule. Guests are temporary, water stains are forever.
6. An Anthropologie sofa so chic, you may just faint on it the second it's delivered. The good news is it's so soft, your aging Millennial bones won't even feel a thing.
7. A bold peel-and-stick wallpaper you can use to create an accent wall or completely make over a bijou bathroom. Owning big cats — a la Joe Exotic — may be frowned upon, but these guys are kosher.
8. An egg-shaped bath mat that'll prevent any Humpty Dumpty-style slips or falls post shower so you can go earn that bacon! 🥓
9. A Tarot room divider so guests can see your bright future but not the two-week-old pile of laundry you kicked into the corner of your room.
10. A metallic balloon dog sculpture made to sit pretty on your bookshelf. Major bonus: It won't ever bark or pee on your expensive Persian carpet.
11. A curvy, made-to-order mirror for people who love amorphous, blobby silhouettes like those that've taken TikTok by storm.
12. A Novogratz memory foam futon so when your mom drops by unannounced — as she loves to do — you don't have to wrestle your air mattress out of a closet and then rearrange your spare room so it fits.
13. An adorable cow print ottoman with two horns and four widdle legs. While it'd make a great nursery piece, I think I'd want it in the living room so if my cat jumped up it'd look like she was entering her first rodeo.
14. A stunning velvet chair and ottoman duo that makes me think of The Golden Girls. I've always identified as a Sophia even though I'm not a shred Italian. 🤷♀️
15. A delicious food stool to spice up your otherwise-bland apartment. Tired feet? *Meat* your new best friend.
16. A plush upholstered bed frame that'll not only add a major pop of color to your room, but prevent you from head-butting (yet another) hole in the drywall.
17. A set of removable tile decals you can slap on over tired stairs. They look like legit tiles sourced from Portugal or Morocco but they take less than 10 minutes to apply.
18. A fuchsia area rug sure to pull any room together. It's so bright, no one will notice that you pushed your fiddle-leaf fig out of sight and carefully turned it around so only the good leaves are showing.
19. A set of fleurs des frites vases in franchise-appropriate Mickey D's colors or a more aesthetic pale pink.
20. A velvet shell pillow that looks like the one your favorite IG influencer has, but at a mere ~fraction~ of the cost.
21. An entryway mirror/cubby where you can store all of the mail you definitely won't read (or even open) but *will* hold onto for five days just for good measure.
22. A floral wall mural that'll make you feel like you're waking up in a chic Parisian apartment. Brb, gonna go watch Amélie again and dream of being in Montmartre.
23. A floral storage bench where you can hide your favorite throw blanket. You know, the one you cuddle with everyday but don't keep on the couch because it has a noticeable ketchup stain.
24. An iridescent acrylic table that'll throw light all over your space even if you only have one unobstructed window because your other one is harboring an AC unit.
25. A three-tier rolling cart you can really go wild with. Pile it high with craft supplies or the extra toiletries you stocked up on during your couponing days.
26. A set of Grandmillennial-esque accent lamps that would look killer on a set of matching side tables. I'd also suggest you paint your room a baby blue to keep with the theme but I don't want to overstep.
27. A set of ombre curtains I think Princess Goddess Mermaid — AKA Aimee from Floribama Shore — would really go nuts for. They won't block out any light but let's be real, you knew that when you bought them.
28. A set of whimsical origami chandeliers that will flip the switch and have *you* feeling like a lil' fish in a big ol' fish bowl.
29. A show-stopping retro daisy credenza where you can rest your Crosley record player that you begged for two Christmases ago but have used once.
30. An upholstered chair that is giving me major That '70s Show vibes. If only it came with my #1 childhood crush, Eric Forman (AKA Topher Grace).
31. A midcentury modern TV console capable of supporting all your emotional support electronics — and in style.
32. A hot pink, lip-shaped settee that I really feel like I don't need to explain. Just look at it!!
33. And a pack of peel-and-stick tiles ready to revamp your rental's questionable eggshell walls. There's no grout or power tools necessary, but you will want to wrangle a willing helper.
You filling every inch of your home with color and pattern:
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