Reddit user u/RedditPenguin02 recently asked the community, "What's a good question to ask before you start dating someone?" It felt great seeing that I've already been asking so many of them, but I also found so many more good ones to add to my list. Here are a few questions people shared.
1. “What are you looking for in a relationship?”
—u/Glambuddha
2. "Where do you want this relationship to lead?"
—u/BFarmer1980
3. "Do you want kids? What kind of life do you want 10 years from now? Where do you want to live? What's your family like? How do you see finances between couples? How do you look at money/finances? Are there things I need to be aware of? How often do you like to be intimate? Do you want pets? How does religion play a role in your life? What are your thoughts on drugs/alcohol/smoking? What do you value?"
4. "What are your politics?"
5. "Do you want children?"
6. "Ask yourself: What is my goal in dating this person?"
—u/fermat9996
7. "When I was dating, my three essential questions were always kids, sex, and money. If you're not on the same wavelength for any of those three things, just don't even try."
—u/KhaosElement
8. "Ask them about their exes. If they think every single one of them is an asshole...they are likely the real asshole."
9. "Ask what their definition of cheating is."
10. "Are you married?"
"And if someone ever tells you it's OK to date because they're in an open marriage, check with their spouse because it may be news to them."
11. "What temperature do you set the thermostat to throughout the year?"
—u/OneFingerIn
12. "When was the last time you changed your mind about something? Opens a window to how they think."
13. "Aside from major differences about finances, kids, politics, or religion, a big one is: What are your hobbies?"
"If they don’t really have any, you may be the next hobby, which isn’t going to work unless you’ve got that kind of time. If the hobbies are time-consuming ones generally done with a S.O., but you have no interest in them, that could be an issue as well. If only one of you likes camping, wanted to spend vacation lounging instead of exploring, didn’t like sports, etc., either that partner is annoyed or the other feels like they don’t get to enjoy what they love."
—u/Githard
14. "What questions when asked by a potential date, are red flags for you?"
15. "I have a set of questions like, 'Where would a giraffe wear a tie? At the top or the bottom of the neck?' The actual answer does not matter, but I think that how they approach the question and how they defend their answer tells me a lot about them."
—u/dvallej
"Great question to break the ice."
16. "What motivates you?"
–u/zer014
17. "If they're a picky eater."
—u/BacrounNois
18. "I highly encourage you ask someone you are getting to know what they are excited about in the next few weeks or month. For me, it's critically important that the people I dated were optimistic and excited about life. Obviously, that's not meant to disparage mental health struggles. But it was important that I dated someone who had a similar mindset to myself. I'm someone who finds things to be excited about. I find it jarring and off-putting to date or be close to someone who can't identify things they are excited about. They don't have to be big things. But having a sunny, positive, and agreeable disposition is important — at least in my opinion."
19. "What they do to handle stress (genuinely), if they are in any other relationships, and if they have the same intent in dating as you. Nothing worse than finding out four years later that he thinks he’s poly and never thought you needed to know."
20. "'Are you going to be financially dependent on me?' I wish I'd known that with literally all of my relationships after I turned 18."
21. "What are your thoughts on [topic you deeply care about]? That helps you know if the person you're talking to is worth your time, whether they agree with your opinions or not. It also allows you to have the right mindset moving forward, so you won't get disappointed or be surprised."
—u/anima99
What are your thoughts on these questions? Are there any other suggestions you have for things people should ask before getting into a serious relationship? Tell me down in the comments below!
Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.