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65 Thoughts Every Science Major Thinks When Studying For Exams

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1. Ugh, it’s a perfect day for a hike, but I’m trapped in the library. Again.

2. I should have studied film.

3. Thank GOD the test is multiple choice.

4. Hypothetically speaking, there’s a 50% chance I’ll pass.

5. It smells weird in here? Is that...formaldehyde!? I should leave.

6. Where’s my damn graphing calculator?

7. Why is everything I need at the BOTTOM of my bag?

8. Oh great, the batteries are dead.

9. Come to think of it, I’ve always loved the movies... Film would have suited me well.

10. I wonder what’s streaming right now...

11. Honestly, being smart is a curse.

12. Hmm, I should be color-coding these DNA sequences.

13. I need more pens.

14. This page of notes is messy. I have to write it over — this time color-coded!

15. I may fail, but dang my notes are BEAUTIFUL.

16. I should Instagram this.

17. I think I’m finally understanding!

*turns page*

18. Ah, never mind. Lost again.

19. I need more coffee.

20. Can someone get me a coffee IV?!

21. Ooo maybe I should invent that.

22. Do I really need organic chemistry to graduate (I repeat to myself for the 1,566th time)?

23. How do I mute these group-chat notifications?

24. I need my non-science-major friends to stop bragging that they’re done studying.

25. What did they do spend like...four hours in the library?

26. AND they had the nerve to complain. Chumps!

27. Ugh, but seriously, if I were a film major I’d be on my couch watching TV. HOW IS THIS FAIR?

28. Oh right, cuz I’m saving the world. MUHAHA! Suckers.

29. Come to think of it, will my intricate knowledge of cell division ever help me in real life?

30. Maybe it could be my superpower…

31. I’m going to be single forever.

32. Okay I need to focus. But calculating the percentage of answers I need to get right counts as studying, right?

33. Let's see...if I get at LEAST a 71 on this final then I won’t fail the class.

34. 71! That’s…achievable. I think. Oh god. Oh GOD.

35. You know what? I don’t have to pass these exams to be a great scientist.

36 Einstein was a bad student, right?

37. Darwin was a bad student too! He probably kept answers to his exams in his beard.

38. Maybe I should grow a beard.

39. Alexander Graham Bell and Thomas Edison were bad students too! See? I could be fine without this exam!

40. Shoot, I just wasted half an hour reading lists about “famous scientists who were bad at school.”

41. I’m so grateful we get to use a formula flashcard.

42. But I need a finer-point pen to write smaller.

43. Fitting everything on this one index card is truly a work of art.

44. Do they make 3x5 photo frames?

45. How am I supposed to balance this equation when I COPIED IT DOWN WRONG?!

46. WHO came up with this stuff anyways?!?

47. How much hair is too much to pull out of my head right now?

48. Now where did I put the correct equation? There are so many papers!

49. I could start a beautiful fire if I were to burn these all.

50. I can’t believe I’ve now spent 40 hours studying for a test that will take 40 minutes to take.

51. Wait, it’s midnight?! Already??? NOOOOO!!!

52. Okay, if I study for three more hours and then wake up early to study more I could get at LEAST FOUR hours of sleep.

53. I’m going to cry.

54. Why did I choose this major again?

55. Oh right, it's because I loooooved Jurassic Park as a kid.

56. Yeah, well, EVERYONE wants to be a paleontologist at some point, right?

57. But I guess I liked the DNA too.

58. Oh! And the plants! The plants were cool too.

59. Man, plants are fascinating. It's crazy when you think about it.

60. Y'know, ALL living organisms are crazy when you think about it!

61. The whole universe is nuts! It's's beautiful and wonderful and totally nuts.


63. Crap, I just wasted half an hour thinking about how much I love science and NOT STUDYING SCIENCE.

64. Where's my coffee IV?!

65. I should have studied film.

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