Just 6 Things You'll Understand If You're A Girl Who Poops

Excuse my potty mouth for this one ladies.

A new study by Pew Research found that 72% of women and girls poop at least once a week. The actual number could be much higher due to underreporting. You'd never know that considering how many girls pretend they never do the dirty business. If you're part of the 72%, here are 6 things that'll make you say "preach sister!"

Feeling underrepresented in the media

How many movie scenes can you think of that involve a girl pooping? I'll give you a second. Zero? Same here! Hollywood is probably the largest perpetrator of the stereotype that no girls poop. If we want to tackle this stereotype, it's time we start an Oscars movement of our own. I'm thinking #OscarsSoClean

TFW you become "one of the guys"

I remember the first time I came out publicly as a pooper. It was in my Freshman year biology class, and I was certain I would be ostracized by everyone in my class. While I'm sure some girls thought I was gross, I couldn't hear their gasps over all the guys in the room shouting things like "sick bro!"

Trying to figure out how to walk through Target with toilet paper

Every girl has a different method. Some of us bury them under the rest of the items in our cart. Some of us buy a bunch of men's hygiene products so the other ladies think we're buying stuff for our man. Personally, I've learned not to care what others think. I proudly put my toilet paper on top of my cart and confidently stroll through the store. If any other women ask "Who is that for?" I proudly say "For me!"

Trying to convince fundamentalist Christians that pooping is natural

If I had a nickel for every time I saw protesters outside of a women's restroom screaming about "God's plan," I could pay off almost a third of my student loans. While it may be tempting to confront these protesters with a book on female anatomy, ignoring them is usually the best option. Besides, the ones who scream the loudest about not pooping are usually the biggest poopers.

TFW your girlfriends start talking about how they don't poop

Let's be real girls, we just learned that 72% of women poop. You expect me to believe that all 15 of you are in the minority? If I had a nickel for every time a girl talked about how she hasn't pooped since she was a baby, I could pay off another third of my student loans!

Not eating so no one finds out

I'll admit, I used to do this. When you're scared to death of your girlfriends finding out that you're a pooper, not eating food seems like the most logical thing to do. I'm happy to say I've learned to look past what my shallow friends think, and it's been three years since I starved myself.