Are You Obnoxious On Social Media?

This is a lovely list of behaviors that many people regularly display on social media. If you don't want to appear like a mentally ill, self obsessed internet troll, here are some habits to be avoided.

1. Constantly Posting Selfies

Posting an overwhelming amount of selfies tells us just one thing about you- you're pretty obsessed with yourself. We've all had good hair days, and there's nothing wrong with a selfie here and there. But nobody wants to see 300 pictures of you making creepy faces into the camera. This screams, "look at me, like me, look at me!!!" Refrain.

2. Posting About Your Significant Other Every Day

You have a boyfriend? Congrats. We know. No one wants to see a picture of you two slurping pasta from each other's mouths, feeling each other up, or the full-frontal assault of staged photos that you post on a daily basis. Really, you're so in love? Then why do you need to shove it in everyone's face every single day? Nobody wants to read your daily diary entries about how "in love" you are. People in healthy relationships don't need to constantly seek public approval and recognition. If this is you, it's likely that you're either a middle school student, or in an incredibly unstable relationship.

3. Deliberately Attention-Seeking Content

Well, thanks to your hospital selfie, we all know you've been hospitalized. Would you mind, I don't know, maybe providing some more information so that people aren't TOTALLY FREAKED OUT? Oh wow, you're "checking in at the ICU" but you just don't feel comfortable sharing what's going on? Astounding. Please, do not deliberately freak everyone out about your well-being and then refuse to provide any information about what is going on with you. This is a super manipulative thing to do, and honestly, it's pretty messed up. Clearly, you are willing to stress people out to serve your own narcissistic need for attention. Once again, if you "don't wanna share" then WHY ARE YOU POSTING ABOUT IT TO A PUBLIC FORUM??

4. Attacking Your Ex - For All the World to See

Good Housekeeping

I'm sorry to hear that you broke up with your girlfriend. That must be tough. However, I'm pretty sure that the entire world does not need to know that she cheated on you, that she doesn't wash her underwear, and that she sucks in bed. Publicly airing intimate details about your relationship does nothing but make you look like a low-class psychopath. Good luck finding a new partner after openly flying your crazy flag on social media. These are the things that you talk to your family and close friends about, not the internet at large.

5. Vague Status Updates Telling Everyone You're Sad

Instagram: basicbitchfoundation

I hate this. To me, it's the worst one on the list. Posting things like, "Crying :( :( :( " or "I just can't take this anymore!" or even "I'm so depressed!" is an obvious cry for attention. If you don't want to go into detail, why are even bringing it up? When you refuse to disclose why you are sad, you take away the ability for other people to help you or offer advice. You are purposefully trying to stir up sympathy for yourself, and intentionally causing others to be concerned about you. This is some seriously obnoxious behavior. Refrain!

6. Invading Your Child's Privacy.

Via pottytrainingconcepts.com

Did little Indigo Blue Feathernest take a giant dump in the potty today? So great. Oh, he also smeared poop all over himself and it was totes gross? LOL!!! Yeah. How about you call your mom and tell her. Or text a friend who cares. Something tells me that when Indigo is older and has his own social media accounts (which is something that apparently no parent has realized WILL HAPPEN), he's not going to appreciate that you told the entire universe the consistency of his bowel movements. He will probably not be thrilled that you literally took photographs of him crapping and shared them with, well, everyone. Have some respect for the adults that your kids will hopefully one day become.

7. Every Inane Detail of Your Boring Life.

Via s.hswstatic.com

Wow. You clipped your nails today? Incredible. You had a salad for lunch? Crazy. You're going to take a shower now? UNREAL! You're going to bed? How could the world have possibly gone on without knowing this information?!?! This behavior shows that you honestly believe that you are so important, people care about your every move. Do us all a favor and can it.

8. 400+ Photos of Your One-Year-Old

The Odyssey Online

You know what, your kid is cute. I'll admit it. Nobody minds seeing some photos of your kids. But do we honestly need to see 75 photos of your one year old drooling mashed peas all over their clothing? 120 shots of their Thanksgiving onesie from every possible angle? Let me help you here - nope, we don't. Again, overkill people. Overkill. It's weird that you don't think twice when you are literally uploading over ONE HUNDRED PHOTOS to Facebook. Pare it down to a couple cute shots and get out of the house a little bit.

9. Your Business Life Becomes Your Only Life

After a bout of unemployment, it's cool that you've now been hooked by a company (cough cough PYRAMID SCHEME) and want to spread the word. You're now selling LulaRoe leggings? You're a Shakeology coach? Beachbody forever? Makeup dealer? Cool. But you know what, your personal life should always be separate from your work. Nobody wants to see the 500th post from you in which you relentlessly try to get others to buy your product. We don't care about your shakes and your makeup and your leggings and your purses. Make a separate freaking page for your business, and we can then decide if we want to be subjected to your cult-like advertising. Maybe people will actually CHOOSE to support you, rather than shoving it down their throats? Incredible concept.

10. You Discovered Fitness

health.com

After ten years of eating cheeseburgers on your sofa and watching reruns of Full House, it's so inspiring that you've realized that exercising and eating healthy are important. But for some reason, people discovering fitness seems to be something that takes over entire personalities (and unfortunately social media accounts) in a crazed, full-blown tornado of endless self-promotion. Don't get me wrong, fitness is cool. People getting in shape is great. But why does it also appear like you've joined a disturbing religious sect? Sure, we see your #gainz. We saw them yesterday, and the day before, and I'm sure we'll see them tomorrow too. Once again, it's all about moderation.