Dear Best Friend

A letter to a best friend about drifting apart.

Im laying in my bed and it is 12:07 am, a million thoughts have raced through my head tonight. It is not like they have not came across me before. Today was just was the day that i needed to get it off my chest. So here it is.

I miss you. I miss how close we were, how we could spend every weekend together and never get bored. I miss talking to you for hours where now i am lucky to even get a response to my text or have a conversation for a few minutes. For that matter, i miss the fact that i would text you about the stupidest stuff and you would still respond. Now, even the most important stuff that i tell you, you don't seem to care enough about. You used to go above and beyond just to be with me (or go above and beyond for your parents to drive you to my place. You used to care if i haven't spoken to you for silly stupid week, you would call my home phone and ask my parents if i was around to speak or hang out. Either one worked for you. Truth be told, back then the only one that worked for me was a sleepover. However, some of the days you would call were a Sunday. Today, i prefer even the worst choice that never crossed my mind as as 7-10 year old girl because i knew it sucked. This being a simple small talk through text. I know this letter is sloppy and might be out of order but it states my true feelings and i hope you can understand.

I almost laugh at the fact that so much has changed, not because its funny but because never in a million years would i think that this would happen, i still don't believe that this has. There was a time where i would manage to tell you every SINGLE detail that had happened during my day or week and you would too. At this point, you don't even know whats been going on in my life as i have no idea with yours.

So this leads me to ask, "How have you been?"

Because truth be told, I, myself have been better.

I want you to know that i still love you to pieces, i'm just tired of getting your attention. Im mad at myself, not you. Im mad at myself for letting you come first when i know i truly come second. Im mad at myself for depending on you, for thinking about you, for wishing about you. But above all, i'm mad at myself for not disliking you which i know that i should by now.

Don't say that you have been busy. You cannot possibly have been busy for months now, there has had to be a time of day where you were free. Don't say that you have been meaning to touch base with me because if you were then you would have by now. So this leads to me asking another question "Do you realize what you are doing?"

You are letting our friendship drift and pushing everything that we've had away. I have tried to rebuilt it but i simply cannot, its one sided, and it hurts so bad.

Oh how i love you to pieces and want you to know that you are forever and always my best friend. There is no reason behind this letter but i really needed to say it. Also even if i am losing you as my best friend, i know that you were meant to be in my life for one reason or another.

I love you infinite amounts despite all that has happened between us