Fun fact that is universally true no matter what anyone else tells you: Green peas are gross.
Here's the proof:
1.First off, they are too sweet for something that calls itself a vegetable.
2.I just don't want to bite into something lukewarm that is going to spill sweet green water into my mouth.
3.You know what I'm talking about — there's that moment of slight resistance from the skin of the pea, and then *pop* there's pea juice drowning your tastebuds.
4.And no one — and I mean NO ONE — wants that to happen while they're eating guacamole.
5.BECAUSE THAT IS INSANE. You don't ruin something that pure with weirdly dented green balls.
6.Seriously, does anyone else think those pea dents are creepy?
7.I MEAN, WHY WOULD SOMEONE DO THIS TO AN ANGEL OF A PIZZA??
8.WHY, GOD, WHY??
9.But that's just the kind of shit pea lovers do: They try to hide peas in perfectly good food.
10.Which means sometimes you find yourself eating what you think is a delicious plate of penne, but peas are secretly hiding in the pasta and you accidentally bite into one.
11.Or sometimes pea believers try to add them to a smoothie, which makes little to no sense.
12.WHY 👏 WOULD 👏 SOMEONE 👏 DO 👏 THAT 👏 TO 👏 A 👏 SMOOTHIE?
13.And don't even get me started on mushy peas, because...why?
14.Honestly, some might say that mushy peas rank right below Brexit in terms of bad ideas.
15.And please, let's not talk about pea soup, because that is literally a bowl of green garbage sludge.
16.OK NOW I'M LEGIT VOMITING, THIS IS TOO MUCH.
17.Basically, the moral of this story is that peas do not taste good and that the person who desecrated this factually correct car should rot in hell.
18.IN HELL, I SAY! BECAUSE YOU DECIDED THIS WAS OK!
