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22 Times Chris Traeger Made You Giggle Uncontrollably On "Parks And Recreation"

He can't stop pooping.

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1. When he handled his body falling apart with the utmost grace and dignity:

Chris: I vomited somewhere in this room. I don't remember where, though. Wait. You might want to check that drawer, though.

Stop... pooping.

This floor is my friend.

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4. When death took on a new, less happy meaning:

Chris: I was dying earlier today. And then I died. Now I'm dead.

6. When he described every person ever:

7. When he tried to hide his emotions, but just couldn't:

Chris: I promised myself I was not going to cry tonight, and I have already broken that promise five times. But I will not... break it a sixth.

Ben: Go ahead and let it out, buddy. It's okay.

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9. When you thought his insides were going to break but instead he just smiled:

Chris: My anxiety has kept me up for over 50 hours.

10. When not even he, Chis Traeger, could handle Jerry's nonsense:

Jerry: You know actually, before my kids, I look at lot like you, Chris.

Chris: I'm very sad, please stop talking.

11. When he turned getting pregnant into something beautiful and creepy:

Chris: Well, I guess your uter-you and my uter-me are now our uter-us.

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12. When he went and Chris Traeger-ed a special moment:

Chris: This tear caused by the overwhelming thoughtfulness of my friends will be my baby's first memory.

Ron: Salt water will warp the wood, so keep your tears in your eyes where they belong.

14. When he invented the term "boob hats":

Ann: Oh my god, you have to stop using the word nipple.

Chris: Anyway, hopefully that will help you with any sensitivities that may arise around your... boob hats."

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15. When he tried to name his unborn child after a healthy food option:

Ann: Olive's kind of a cute name, if it's a girl.

Chris: I prefer "Chickpea."

Ann: Because it's lower in sodium?

Chris: Yes, exactly.

Ann: Okay.

16. When he did not even pretend to like Valentine's Day for one second:

Chris: Happy Valentine's Day, Pawnee. For me, it is not happy. But don't let me sadness diminish your night. Anyway, life is fleeting.

17. When he cried so much that he ran out of tissues, which then made him cry even more:

Chris: Oh. There's no more tissue. Everything ends. Everything goes away.

18. When he was not above bragging about himself:

Chris: If I had to have anybody tell me that I had cancer, I would want it to be me.

19. When he destroyed any excuse you've ever had for why you're not exercising:

Ron: Isn't there a gymnasium where you can do that?

Chris: The world is my gymnasium, Ron!

20. When sexism punched him in the heart:

April: Wow, Chris. Your gender equality commission is a real sausage fest.

Leslie: Oh my God. You're kidding me.

Chris: I just assumed that some of the departments would send women. Oh my God. I am part of the problem.

21. When he pitied the fool who thought he needed a friend:

Chris: I'm not lonely. I have me.

22. And when he decided that "literally" is literally the best word to use in literally every situation:

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