31 Hilarious Tweets About Airport Security That Have Me Laughing All The Way To My Terminal
"Since they're scanning me anyway, sometimes I wish airport security would just tell me how my bone density is doing."
Airport security is no doubt a very serious matter. TSA checkpoints and guidelines are in place to keep us all safe as we fly.
But as the rules and technology have evolved, the passenger experience going through security has inevitably led to some hilarious moments. The funny folks of Twitter think so, anyway.
We’ve rounded up 31 funny and relatable tweets about the airport security process, from strange searches to bizarre passenger behavior and more.
to the woman who took a bite out of her chapstick in the airport security line: why you did that
— Kristen Arnett (@Kristen_Arnett) November 21, 2018
i dont simply go through airport security. i have a goal. i want everyone in line to be blown away by my efficiency. i want to be celebrated as i push my belongings across the table. i want TSA to offer me a job (i’ll decline). i want people talking about me at their gate. glory.
— shelby wolstein (@ShelbyWolstein) April 26, 2022
I think when I finally die and go to hell its just going to be a constant loop of waiting in the airport security line hungover
— Jamie Fline (@allidois_flynn) September 2, 2019
I hope the TSA agent who made me open my sandwich and “move the pickles around” feels super stupid. In the end it was a sandwich.
— Akilah Hughes (@AkilahObviously) September 19, 2022
There was literally no one else at airport security so I grabbed a few extra bins & really lived for once
— Aparna Nancherla 🇵🇸 (@aparnapkin) July 5, 2013
TSA agent: do you have anything in your back pockets?
— tracy clayton jr the 3rd (@brokeymcpoverty) November 9, 2017
me: nah girl that's all me
The most zen place in the airport is the “get your shit together” bench after going through security
— Chase Mitchell (@ChaseMit) January 13, 2019
TSA Agent: Anything sharp or dangerous in here?
— Lesley Nneka Arimah (@larimah) March 29, 2018
Me: Only if you fear the written word 😏 😏 *finger guns*
TSA: 😐
Me: 😬
TSA: 🤨
Me: No, ma’am, nothing sharp or dangerous.
I dream of a day we will all be TSA precheck thus defeating the initial purpose of the program
— Aparna Nancherla 🇵🇸 (@aparnapkin) August 29, 2016
Oh my god y’all. I watched a woman attempt to go through airport security with ten fully inflated helium birthday balloons. She kept shoving them into the conveyor belt to the scanner but they just kept popping back out like a cartoon. Yes this happened in florida.
— ditch pony (@molly7anne) October 18, 2023
Since they're scanning me anyway, sometimes I wish airport security would just tell me how my bone density is doing
— Atsuko Okatsuka (@AtsukoComedy) March 29, 2018
I can help you get through airport security 30% faster - just get in any line other than the one I am in.
— 〰 Just Linda 〰 (@LindaInDisguise) December 7, 2017
can’t stop thinking about the time I watched a woman try to put her dog through the airport security scanner and the tsa agent picked it up and was like “ma’am no”
— sloane (sîpihkopiyesîs) (@cottoncandaddy) July 1, 2019
TSA checking baggages the day before Valentine's: pic.twitter.com/FqNIZ8caL5
— ✨️💫🖤Beloved🖤💫✨️ (@MoonGoddess_86) February 7, 2022
My new drug is being the only person in the airport security line
— Aparna Nancherla 🇵🇸 (@aparnapkin) February 17, 2016
TSA:
— 1984’s George Whorewell (@EwdatsGROSS) April 4, 2019
Girl [with pierced nipples]: sorry I have my nipples pierced
TSA: the metal detector didn’t even go off-
Girl: it didn’t even hurt as much as you’d think
TSA just unpacked a man’s bag and revealed it was 50% potatoes, is there no privacy in this world
— worms cited (@christapeterso) May 23, 2021
If you're ever intimidated by somebody remember that they've also had to stand in their socks at airport security.
— anne t donahue (@annetdonahue) May 5, 2016
It's annoying when you gotta finish a water bottle at airport security but it's a real test of character when you gotta finish massage oil
— Aparna Nancherla 🇵🇸 (@aparnapkin) January 24, 2014
Avoided saying “You too” after the TSA guy told me to have a nice flight pic.twitter.com/ZiVZIgog6W
— Elspeth Eastman (@ElspethEastman) December 7, 2017
Me: Excuse me sir, can you please forward my X-ray and breast exam results to my doctor
— Saucy Kensington (@Book_Krazy) August 11, 2014
Airport security:...
just used TSA PreCheck for the first time & now this is a pic of me pic.twitter.com/U7P2K29OEE
— Sophia Benoit (@1followernodad) October 24, 2017
I just passed my TSA pat down guy on his break & he acted like what we shared meant NOTHING TO HIM
— Aparna Nancherla 🇵🇸 (@aparnapkin) October 29, 2014
ppl who go through airport security w naked, unsocked feet: HOW??!!! y'all just put your feet on the lil yellow things and soak up the foot juices of THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE???
— tracy clayton jr the 3rd (@brokeymcpoverty) September 9, 2019
tsa agent: sorry you can only board with 3.4 oz of liquid or less
— jo (@whatsJo) November 27, 2021
me: ok just toss it out then
Kool Aid Man: *dressed in tommy bahama* babe what
Why am I always seeking the approval of TSA agents?
— RainnWilson (@rainnwilson) September 25, 2019
me before going through security at airport: what if i accidentally have a gun
— Natalie (@jbfan911) June 21, 2019
[How to get randomly selected by TSA in an airport]
— NewDadNotes (@NewDadNotes) January 25, 2018
TSA Agent: please form a single line to your right
Me: [raises hand] what if you’re married?
Probably the hottest thing a person can do is move efficiently through the TSA security line.
— Sophia Benoit (@1followernodad) February 28, 2015
Apparently when TSA asks if you have any fluids, "In my bladder" is not an appropriate response.
— Fishy Snowboarder (@FishySnowborder) April 6, 2014
had i known TSA was going to confiscate my half jar of peanut butter, i would have spread it all over my body before i got to the airport
— Aparna Nancherla 🇵🇸 (@aparnapkin) December 21, 2019
This post originally appeared on HuffPost.