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You've always wondered, and now we can provide you a definitive answer...

Who From The Customer Value Team Am I?

Where would we find you on a typical Friday night?

What most closely matches your fashion sense?

What would you be most likely to eat for lunch?

If you weren't in the CVT team what would your dream job be?

CONGRATS, YOU'RE ELON! THAT MEANS YOU'RE THE LOUDEST PERSON WHO'S EVER WORKED AT TNL - right I'm going to stop shouting now, you get the point. You're a very odd mix of hipster (living in dalston, frequently wearing t-shirts with feminist slogans and/or boobs on them), and bitter old cat lady (doesn't really need explaining but your freakishly passionate love of jigsaws for sure adds into this), and we wouldn't have you any other way! You're also the most famous person on the team having won the equivalent of the Oscar for best-CRM executive of all-time, if only you could transfer some of that amazing engagement skill into your love life, eh?!

Elon

Formerly the poshest member of the team by a mile, your crown has been stolen by Camilla-Parker-Bowles-O'Connell, however you'll always have your love of olives! You're almost frustratingly nice, smart and universally liked, but luckily you make up for these very annoying qualities by being scatty as fuck! You're equally at home sinking pints in the pub, or milling feminism over a lovely malbec, so who said diversity is dead?!

Rhiann

Jimmy, you're an old man, trapped in the body of a young man, trapped in the body of Harry Potter post-heroin addiction. You're easily the most helpful of the whole team, and you approach every day with the unerring positivity of someone who wears jazzy socks. You're a forecasting whizzkid and your sensitivity regarding your pet rabbit is very endearing!

Jimmy

You're the subtly-savage ninja that worked your way into the team's hearts and minds by being nice, but deliver the most brutal blows of all to the egos of many (but mainly Rolph). You're a delight to sit with, especially considering your decisiveness at the important questions in life (e.g. 'what kind of baked good is your favourite?), and you've handled the revelations about the sexual escapades of your manager with all the class and panache of someone who went to the same schools as both Dolly Alderton and Pandora Sykes (you posh bint!)

Camilla

Your success with the ladies has reached the extent where you've had to get a revolving door installed in your bedroom to keep up with the demand! Of course, that door is in your mum and dad's house which does make it slightly less impressive but you keep on playing, playa! You're the well-needed replacement for Josh Toff, the metrosexual lothario that we all know and love - and if you're not out fanning yourself on your 50th date of the week, then you're out drinking heavily which makes you a certified ledge. Seriously though, maybe try reading The Times once and get rid of The Guardian as your homepage?

Rolph

Both loved and feared in equal measures, you're known amongst your peers for having the most savagely accurate take downs that would make even Anne Robinson weep. Whilst most humans are made up of 70% water, you're about 90% gin, which is probably why you don't need to wear a coat even in the depths of winter. Described by your own Mother as Satan, it's a common misconception that you're dead inside, but those people don’t know that your ideal Sunday is spent crying to every single second of A Dogs Purpose.

Carla

Do you like have appalling taste in shirts, love mentioning that you have a wife every 3.4 seconds and are as enthusiastic about literally everything as a small child is about their first trip to Disneyland? Then you sound like Pete Evia-Rhodes! You're the man who is impossible not to love, because you're basically a big puppy in a man's skin suit, but sometimes it'd be great if you just had a day off.

Pete

"The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams." - Eleanor Roosevelt, quoting Michael Migliore, quoting Eleanor Roosevelt. If you love the deepest, most intense conversations ever, being almost aggressively American, having one-too-many old fashioneds and vodka martinis (two of them being too many), and your own damn self so much it hurts then congratulations, you're Mike Mig! Arguably the most quotable member of the customer value team, your perfectly paired mix of disdain for the idiocy and blatant lack of professionalism you have to deal with on a day to day basis and wanting the best for everyone who reports into you, make you a delight to work with!

Mike

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Who From The Customer Value Team Am I?

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