1. This petition to make the first day of baseball season "a national holiday."
2. All of these many petitions to change the national anthem.
3. This terrifying request to "convert at least one national park into a dinosaur clone park."
4. This one asking the White House to "formally acknowledge an extraterrestrial presence."
5. This petition to give everyone a "unicorn and a lollipop for Boxing Day."
6. This bold request to "secure resources and funding, and begin construction of a Death Star by 2016."
8. This simple inquiry for someone to "release the recipe for the Honey Ale home brewed at the White House."
9. This odd but well-meaning petition simply titled "Trouble Sleeping and Relaxing?"
10. This petition to "reform the coinage system" by getting rid of nickels and pennies.
11. This timely petition to "end the bi-annual time change."
12. This self-referential petition to "actually take these petitions seriously instead of just using them as an excuse to pretend you are listening."
13. And finally, the most genius petition of all that suggests we give the Declaration of Independence to someone who really wants it.
The most genius petition of all? The one that seeks get rid of to random age requirement of 35 to be president!
Join Captain Morgan in the #UNDER35POTUS movement to make certain things just a little less weird.
DRINK RESPONSIBLY. CAPTAIN’S ORDERS. 35% ALC/VOL ©2016 CAPTAIN MORGAN RUM CO., NORWALK, CT.