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17 Stages Of A Christmas Work Party

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. There are many stages to a Christmas work party, and a few of them might make you consider taking part in Cancer Research UK's Dryathlon. We've all been there.

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1. The e-invite arrives. It's got tinsel GIFs and bits of snow on it.

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This year, you've decided you're not going to embarrass yourself. This year is going to be your year. Maybe you're new here, and maybe it's your first Christmas party at this place. You can totally make a good impression. No one needs to know about last year. No one.

2. You arrive at the place, and so far, it’s not awkward.

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You find the person you sit next to at work and do some chat about your Christmas plans. So far, so good.

3. Excited people are being prematurely excited, but it’s cool. You pose for excited photos, looking excited.

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These people exist outside of the office! It's a bit like seeing your English teacher in the street, but it's fine!

4. You’ve found the door the canapés come out of. You will not move from this place.

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Other people treat you like a messiah, for you have found the door the canapés come out of.

5. Dinner is about to be served. You will move from your canapé area for this.

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And only this.

6. Whoever organised the seating has decided that tonight you will mingle with other departments.

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You wonder if you can change tables for the next course.

7. Something happened and [SCENE DELETED] now you’re on the dance floor.

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Dessert sits abandoned on the table. The custard congeals.

8. Like, really on the dance floor.

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9. The girl from accounts is twerking. You cannot unsee.

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The horror, the horror.

10. You pick up the wrong coat and head home.

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You don't know where you are or how the buses work here. You get a cab home. It somehow costs £80.

11. Despite the entire Christmas dinner you just ate, you stop for a kebab.

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It's fine. Most of it went down your coat anyway.

12. You post some selfies right about now that you will later come to regret.

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YOU LOOK FIERCE.

13. You go to bed with your make-up or shoes or both still on.

14. You wake up and remember.

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15. You go to work not quite sure whom you need to apologise to.

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You apologise to everyone just in case.

16. You receive a company-wide email including a gallery of photos featuring you.

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Plus a video of you twerking. Apparently you did that too.

17. And you swear that next year it will not be like this.

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Next year will be different.

One too many regrets this Christmas? Do Dryathlon: Give up booze for January, and get your friends to sponsor you for Cancer Research UK.

Cancer Research UK