10 Reasons Why Being A National Champion Isn't All That

UNC just won the NCAA basketball championship and it ruined my life *(disclaimer, this is satirical, who in their right mind isn't still excited?)*

1. Everyone is wayyyyy too happy on campus

Random people looking for high-fives? People hugging you that you've never met before? Having to talk to people you've purposefully been avoiding on campus the last three years about the best and most memorable night of their life? Pass.

2. Rushing Franklin Street was a hot mess

Logan MB / Via loganmb.photoshelter.com

There were an estimated 55,000 people that crowded into one college town intersection to burn couches, jump over fires, climb light polls, and light fireworks. Talk about a safety hazard.

3. Not getting to be at the game

I went to Houston last year and watched us lose to Villanova in one of the greatest national championship games in the history of the tournament. This year I had to watch it from on campus as the confetti fell in Phoenix.

4. Not getting to cheer at the game

Did I mention I'm a cheerleader? Did I mention they favored Seniors when choosing who to take to the game? Did I mention I was stuck in Chapel Hill?

5. Everyone and their mom is going to apply to UNC next year

Acceptance rate goes down and we begin to look like a prestigious bunch of prudes because a fewer percent of students get into UNC than Harvard. Don't even begin to compare us to Dook.

6. I feel like a social outcast without national championship gear

IT WAS ON BACKORDER AND I GOT FREE SHIPPING OKAY? *grumbles* The student store was more expensive anyways...

7. All anyone from back home is going to talk about the next year is how it felt

I am a complex human being with many thoughts and aspirations, and if I have to hear one more relative or low-life high school friend that didn't get into UNC ask how cool it was to win, I'm going to defenestrate someone. That's a big word meaning throw them out of a window.

8. Our team is not going to be anywhere near as good next year

They said the same thing last year. So what we won this year? Next year we're going to suck. Losing key seniors and potential draft picks is just going to make losses next year that much more agonizing.

9. We're going to lose

I had an undefeated winning streak. Every single game the Tar Heels played that I cheered them on in the Dean Dome (yes that includes the national championship because I got stuck cheering a viewing party), they won. No way that streak holds up next year and I go back to being a no luck charm.

10. I go to the greatest school on earth and now everyone knows about it

Tell me you didn't see pictures. Tell me you didn't see the team crying after redeeming a heartbreaking loss last year. Tell me you wouldn't have wanted to be jumping over fires and running from miles away to be with your Tar Heel family. Tell me you didn't want a "Ceiling is the Roof" shirt. Because I got to live all of that. And unlike you, I get to wake up a national champion tomorrow.