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Which Atlantic "Straight" Boy Are You?

Pick an artist.

What is your favorite thing to do in your spare time?

Choose an Instagram caption.

What is something you would most likely do to Caitlin Dullahan-Bates if given the chance?

PICK A DRAKE.

Which classic line from Sex and the City do you most identify with?

"I'm attracted to pie. It doesn't mean I feel the need to date pie."

Which Gilmore Girls heartthrob would you love to bone?

IT'S FRIDAY NIGHT & YOU'RE ABOUT TO GET LIIIITTTT WITH THE BOIZ. What do you drink?

Which Alan Kaufman line are you?

Which phrase have you most likely uttered within the past 24 hours?

You're being shipped off to a deserted island and you can only bring one hot girl with you. Who's it gonna be?

What can you not leave the house without?

Pick the most sensual part of Ken Bone.

FACTS ON FACTS ON FAAAACTS. Congratulations, my friend, you are the swaggiest dabber in all of Atlantic: Jake Robbins. Like Jake, you're probably obsessed with music, wrestling, and the Jets. You're also in love with Aubrey Drake Graham and fantasize about the day you two will be joined in holy matrimony. You will probably die while dabbing at an Outkast reunion concert. Your final words will be: "GOT 'EM."

Jake

CAN YOU SAY CHEST HAIR?!? Like Jeffrey Ebner, you have a shit ton of chest hair that frames your massive gold chains very nicely. But when people get past the forest that is your chest, they'll discover a heart of gold--someone who is super passionate about what he does, creative, kind, and filled to the brim with stuffed Pikachus. Gang gang.

Jeff

FUUUUUUCK. You are Noah Riley. Like Noah, you are probably a very rational, logical human being. There is no situation you can't make sense of. Except for the time you found yourself madly in love with a goat named Sylvia. At the end of the day, you're a simple dude who enjoys a nice smoke in your West Village apartment, set to the musical stylings of the Grateful Dead. Also, RIP your luscious Fall 2015 semester locks.

Noah

YEAH BOIIII. Look who it is, Henry Motherfucking Walker! Like Henry, you're probably a distant relative of Carrot Top and secretly dream of the day you become a world-famous rapper. Although you say you love Sierra Nevada Torpedo, we all know you're really a Bud Light kind of guy. You also have the best IG handle in the game. Stay fly, @walkflokaflame.

Henry

WELL, IF IT ISN'T MILKY DAVE! If you got this result, well, congratulations because you're the milkiest dude in all of Atlantic. You're a big fan of dick jokes and a really beautiful girl named Casey Landman. You care a lot about acting but even more about your dick. One day, when you're playing Matt Damon in the Tarantino re-make of "Good Will Hunting" called "Good Dick Hunting," I hope you remember us little dicks.

David

Scott

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Which Atlantic "Straight" Boy Are You?

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