How To Tell Someone You Killed Their Plant

RIP Lil Steph

This summer I absolutely destroyed a beautiful succulent named after my pal Stephanie. It was a plant symbolic of our friendship. Here is how you should deal with a similar circumstance.

me

I don't have a lot of pictures, but the memories are countless.

1. Create a Buzzfeed Article

me

Now you don't have to verbally admit how irresponsible you are! Face-to-face contact is overrated anyway, and my friend's a great writer, so she'll probably appreciate the medium.

2. Remember the Good Times

Me

Like, wasn't it great when I bought the plant, and then you feel in love with it, so we named it after you. Or that time we had to vacuum the dorm because we (you) spilled potting soil everywhere. These are fond memories to look back on despite the fact that I murdered Lil' Steph.

3. Admit Fault

me

I brutally slaughtered Lil' Steph. Honestly, she was so mistreated that I'm not actually sure what killed her. Did it all start when I repotted her into a pot that was way too large? Was it the long and bumpy car ride from New Jersey to South Carolina? Was it that I left her in the unforgiving southern heat while I went to Louisiana for a week? She was fine when I got back, so maybe it's that I forgot to water her this month. 🤷

4. Remember that no one is completely innocent

me

I mean when you watched her, you didn't water her either soooooo. Everyone makes mistakes. This is actually a learning experience for us both.