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24 Of The Worst Things You Can Say To A Writer, According To Twitter

Because frankly, the best part about sitting down to write is cleaning your entire apartment.

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Joanne Harris has excellent advice on writing.

How to be a Writer. 1. Stare out of window at rain. 2. Experience a certain lassitude. 3. Contemplate the infinite. 4. Settle for toast.

To help the world understand what it's like to be a writer, she started a hashtag on Twitter of ten things not to say to a writer.

And this morning's #TenTweets are; TEN THINGS NOT TO SAY TO A WRITER. Follow the hashtag to collect them all!

Joanne began the countdown here.

1. "So, what's your REAL job?" #TenThingsNotToSayToAWriter

And thought she was ending here.

10. "Your husband/parents must be very supportive." #TenThingsNotToSayToAWriter

But the Internet was just getting started.

How I'm feeling after reading @Joannechocolat's #TenThingsNotToSayToAWriter:

Behold the treasure trove of Twitter reactions that emerged from #tenthingsnottosaytoawriter.

1.

#TenThingsNotToSayToAWriter We don't pay, but it's a great opportunity for you to get your name out there!

2.

"Oh you're a writer? My aunt's friend's gardener's plumber is a writer. You should ask them for some advice." #TenThingsNotToSayToAWriter

3.

"I wish I had time to write." #tenthingsnottosaytoawriter

4.

#TenThingsNotToSayToAWriter "It's pretty impressive that you spend so much time on something that has so little chance of success."

5.

#TenThingsNotToSayToAWriter “Yeah, but what’s your JOB?"

6.

#TenThingsNotToSayToAWriter Oh, you write? I've always wanted to be a writer. I'm too busy doing (insert "important" thing here), though.

7.

"So, kind of like Joan Didion?" #TenThingsNotToSayToAWriter

8.

"Hurry up and finish your book. It can't be that hard!" #TenThingsNotToSayToAWriter #EspeciallyTHISWriter

9.

We only have decaf. #TenThingsNotToSayToAWriter

10.

"I really want to read your stuff*!" *repeats this for a decade every time we bump into each other. #tenthingsnottosaytoawriter

11.

"Any advice for getting into paid writing in [genre / market / audience that is nothing like mine]?" #TenThingsNotToSayToAWriter

12.

#TenThingsNotToSayToAWriter "We don't have it in our budget to give [literally starving employee] a raise." *Arcade machine enters office*

13.

"Really? What name do you use?" #TenThingsNotToSayToAWriter

14.

So how's that novel coming on #TenThingsNotToSayToAWriter

15.

#TenThingsNotToSayToAWriter "Your round."

16.

"This is OK for a first draft. This is a first draft, right?" #TenThingsNotToSayToAWriter

17.

When I retire I'm going to write a book, too. #TenThingsNotToSayToAWriter

18.

"We won't pay you, but we can include a link to your Twitter feed." #TenThingsNotToSayToAWriter

19.

I’ve got a great idea, I just need someone to write it. #TenThingsNotToSayToAWriter

20.

You should get [inaccessible super famous person] to blurb your book! #TenThingsNotToSayToAWriter

21.

"I would totally write a novel if I had as much free time as you do. I have so many ideas." #TenThingsNotToSayToAWriter

22.

I only read 19th century Russian literature because no truly revolutionary works of fiction are written anymore. #TenThingsNotToSayToAWriter

23.

#TenThingsNotToSayToAWriter "That sounds like so much fun! Wish I could just sit around and write all day."

24.

I thought you were dead. #TenThingsNotToSayToAWriter

Read more on the #TenThingsNotToSayToAWriter hashtag. Follow Joanne Harris on Twitter here.

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