You ever get tired of being single?
Your fear ever sneak up on you in the middle of the night, telling you that you're falling behind your friends and that you're never going to find that person that loves you for you? That maybe deep down the problem is you? You're too picky, too much to handle, or maybe just plain unloveable? That even your cats don't love you enough to be a good Crazy Cat Lady™?
Of course you have!
When those terrible feelings sneak up on you, Buzzfeed is here to help. By taking a quiz about your fashion sense or food cravings, these incredible scientists can tell you exactly when that loneliness will end (legally in the eyes of whatever country you live in.)
But not all quizzes were created equal. How do we sort out the good answers from the bad ones? Which of these guesses are closest to fact? When the hell am I gonna get married, Buzzfed?!
I was on a quest to find out. So! I scoured the internet and took 30 different Buzzfeed quizzes, added up my answers, and used complex math to find my real, actual, scientific wedding date. In other words, I averaged them.
The Quizzes
Should you want to follow along the path to enlightenment, these are the quizzes I took to get my answers:
Eat Some Breakfast And We'll Tell You When You're Getting Married
Your Dinner Choices Will Reveal How Old You'll Be On Your Wedding Day
We Can Predict When You'll Get Married With 95% Accuracy
This Quiz Will Tell You The Exact Age You'll Get Married
Eat Candy In Every Color And We'll Reveal What Age You'll Get Married
Plan The Worst Date Every To Find Out What Age You'll Get Married
We Know When You'll Get Married Based On Some Chill Questions
Order Some Ice Cream And We'll Tell You When You're Getting Married
These Five Questions Will Determine When You're Getting Married
These Three Questions Can Determine When You'll Get Married
This Is When You'll Get Married, According To Your Taste In Wedding Food
Your Engagement Preferences Will Reveal Exactly When You'll Get Married
This Color Quiz Will Reveal When You're Getting Married
Say "Yes" Or "No" To These Wedding Opinions And We'll Reveal Every Detail About Your Wedding Date
Shop At Urban Outfitters And We'll Tell You When You're Getting Married
Shop At Free People And We'll Reveal How Old You'll Be When You Get Married
Swipe Through These Wedding Dresses And We'll Reveal Your True Wedding Date
Pick Some Emojis And We'll Reveal When You're Getting Married
Buy An Entire Wardrobe At Brandy Melville And We'll Reveal At What Age You'll Get Married
The Snacks You Choose Will Reveal The Age You'll Be When You Get Married
Buy A New Outfit At Urban Outfitters And We'll Reveal When You'll Get Married
Eat Cheese For Every Meal And We'll Reveal When You'll Get Married
We Know When You'll Get Married Based On How You Do Your Makeup
We Know When You're Getting Married Based On The Outfit You Buy From H&M
Shop For Your Dream Kitchen At Ikea And We'll Tell You When You're Getting Married
When Will You Get Married? Plan A Weird Wedding To Find Out
Shop At Cotton On And We'll Reveal The Year You'll Get Married
We Know When You'll Get Married Based On What You Buy Your Pets At PetSmart
Plan Your Wedding, And We'll Give You A Day, Month, And Year
PHEW! That's thirty, folks! We did it!
The Math
Some specifics before we get to the date when New York State will end my suffering. All these quizzes are built a little differently—some tell you your exact age, an age range, the year, or the specific day. How do we represent that in an equation?
Year is obvious, and age is easy enough. If a quiz told told me I'd be 25, I put the year I'd be 25. (My birthday is the last week of the year, so I actually used the whole year after my birthday for this.) If a quiz told me I'd be in my 40's, I put every year between 40 and 49.
For quizzes with an exact date, I used a decimal. For example, the final quiz told me I'd get married September 30, 2023. (This was the most appealing answer I got btw.) September 30 is the 273 day of the year (assuming it's not a leap year.) 273 / 365 = .7479, therefore the date in whole would be 2023.7479.
Remember, we want real answers!
If you want to skip this bit of math though, you can use this website to do the work for you.
A lot of quizzes told me I was never getting married. (Rude.) For those dates, I used the year I'd be 100. Let's hope I live that long. For quizzes that told me I was already married, I used my birth year in an attempt to even that out. Statistical analysis is an exact science, but not one I'm trained in.
After I had all my years down, I added them up and divided it by the amount of years in the equation. Are we ready for some answers?!
***DRUMROLL***
THE TRUTH
Between exact dates and age ranges, I ended up with 58 different years in my equation. When I added them all up, I got a sum of 118111.208. Divide that by 58, and you get 2036.4000. Alright, that doesn't look too bad! Check our chart and that's...May 26, 2036.
At which point I will be...44 years old...
In Conclusion
Alright, so that's a little long for my tastes. In the end, FIVE different quizzes told me I wasn't getting married, and only TWO told me I already was. The high numbers were just too powerful for my equation. Life is hard, and so is math.
But the important thing to remember is that marriage is not the be all end all of relationships, or even of love in your life. Not being married doesn't mean that you're not in a loving relationship, and not having a significant other doesn't mean there's any loss of love in your life. Platonic and familial love are just as important, and can be just as fulfilling!
So until I walk down the aisle in a pretty white dress, it looks like I have plenty of time to save up for the event, and plenty of time to hang out with lots of different fishes to find the right one for me.
How did your average turn out? Let us know in the comments!
Share This Article
