8 Reasons Why You Should NEVER Pierce Your Ears

Ears are for listening, not for piercing.

1. You can’t sleep on your side

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For those of you who don’t know, you can’t just take earrings out when you go to sleep and pop ‘em back in the morning. Maybe you’ll be able to do that if the hole in your ear doesn’t heal fast enough, but earring specialists generally agree that you’ve gotta leave ‘em in. And if you’ve got a sharp bit of metal stuck in your ears while you’re sleeping, say good-bye to sleeping on your side. If you want earrings, I hope you like staying still on your back while you doze off.

2. Good earrings cost a lot of money

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When you look up ‘earrings’ on google, you might be surprised to find out that the first results you get already cost somewhere between $30 and $80. And that’s just for the cheap brand value stuff that’ll infect your ear. A good set of safe, comfortable, and stylish earrings can cost more than a hundred bucks per stud. That doesn’t sound like a good investment to me.

3. You’ll increase your chances of getting an ear infection

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As someone who’s had a rash on their ear before, let me tell you, the earlobe can really get messy when it gets too itchy. Admittedly, it got to that point because I didn’t wash my pillowcase for about three years, but do you really want to run the risk of your earlobe getting messy just because you stuck some metal in there?

4. Needles are for medicine and sewing, not bodily destruction

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Would you use scissors as a fork? Would you use a toothbrush to clean your feet? A pencil to scratch your nose? Well, if you wouldn’t do any of those things, then I have no idea why you would use something like a needle to pierce your ear. Needles are for thread-work and blood-testing, not bizarre fashion norms.

5. You’ll have to be wary of “Earring Codes”

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I know this might sound controversial, but our society is plagued with secret organizations of all kinds, ranging from delinquent clubs to insular Ivy League networks. Some of those organizations use specific earrings to signal their allegiance to one another. Do you really want to get mixed up with that kind of thing? Even if you’re not a member, just one random earring choice can result in unintentional cult membership.

6. You’ll have to be wary of metal detectors

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Whether it’s the airport or the beach, metal detectors are surprisingly common, and you will feel how common they are once you have to sit near them with metal embedded in your ears. Do you really want to deal with the hassle of hearing alarms and beeping just because your earrings attracted the attention of some scavenger or security guard waving their scanners all over the place?

7. You’ll have to be wary of magnets

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Whether it’s the fridge or the electronics store, magnets are surprisingly common, and you will feel how common they are once your pierced ears have to deal with the random tugging effects of nearby magnets. Instead of just being able to interact with magnets like a normal person, you’ve sacrificed your health just to have sparkly bits in your earlobes.

8. Earrings could go out of fashion in the near future

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Like fate, fashion can be pretty harsh. What’s considered stylish today is often considered gaudy and out-of-touch the day after. A good example of this is how most people have nothing but scorn for The Met Gala. Maybe some of you are fans of the Met Gala, and you’re shocked to learn that most people aren’t all that fond of it. You’ll also be shocked to learn that earrings are likely to go out of fashion soon, because of all the reasons I listed. Also, they’re going out of fashion because they just look bad.

Save yourself the trouble. Don’t pierce your ears. Share this article with everyone you know to dissuade them from this terrible tradition.