1. On options:
Me: Can I have a Coke? Waiter: Is Pepsi ok? Me: Just bring me water from the Urinal then.
2. On being cursed:
My mother liked Pepsi more than Coke and that's why I know I'll always be garbage. It's in my blood.
3. On being prepared
I wait tables and this man asked for coke and i said the classic “is pepsi okay” and he looks me dead in the face and says no and PULLS OUT A COOLER FULL OF COKES
4. On trouble in paradise
imagine falling in love with someone and then finding out they prefer Pepsi over Coke
5. On going a little too far
[during sex] her: hurt me me: pepsi her: what? me: pepsi is better than coke her: stop
6. On knowing exactly what you want
"Do you have Pepsi or Coke products?" "Pepsi" "okay I'll have a coke"
7. On truths
its okay to be White. its okay to be Black. its okay to be Asian. its okay to be Hispanic. its okay to be Female. its okay to be Male. It's okay to be YOU. But it's never ok to think that Pepsi is better than Coke
8. On hard evidence
Free pizza and drinks at work. This is how you can tell Coke is better than Pepsi.
9. On choices
Soda vendor: You can serve either Coke or Pepsi products. Me (new restaurant owner with a strong belief in fucking over my customers): Let's do Pepsi
10. On well-being
Me: People think I'm weird Therapist: I don't Me: I prefer Pepsi over Coke Therapist: *presses intercom* Doris cancel the rest of my week.
11. On the difference between Pepsi drinkers...
PEPSI V. COKE People who like Pepsi: I like Pepsi better:) People who like Coke: Are you kidding me? PEPSI? If you like Pepsi, you are an absolute disgrace to society. If I had to drink Pepsi or die, I would choose DEATH. Coke is a classic American institution and deserves res-
12. ...and Coke drinkers
Pepsi drinkers: I'll take a Pepsi. Waitress: Is Coke ok? Pepsi drinker: yeah, that's fine. Coke drinkers: yeah, I'll have coke. Waitress: Is Pepsi ok? Coke drinker: FUCK NO GET ME A MOUNTAIN DEW YOU IMBECILLE HOW DARE YOU DISRESPECT ME LIKE THIS I WILL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT I AM-
13. On making no exceptions
Just a reminder: Even when in a sheer panic, Floridians would rather drink their own urine, than drink Pepsi products, during a storm. https://t.co/T6BJwjjJH0
14. On coincidences
Such a weird coincidence how people who prefer Pepsi are also people going to hell
15. On pleasing the crowd
Sorry everyone, party is over. Karen brought Pepsi instead of Coke. (Crowd gasps) Jk you guys, I have Coke but Karen, you should leave.
16. On deciding your future
When choosing a college make sure you know if you’re campus is coke or pepsi. I made the mistake of not knowing until it was too late
17. On terrible mistakes
when mom ruins family gambling night by pouring Pepsi instead of Coke
18. On strict conditions
[Last Supper] Waiter: Is Pepsi ok? Me: [after confirming with Jesus that his super drink powers include turning Pepsi into Coke] That’s fine
19. On looking out for each other
i just heard a girl at a restaurant complain that they had Coke products & not Pepsi.. i feel like i should tell her boyfriend to run
20. On regret
"You can't tell the difference between Coke and Pepsi," she says. Yes, you can. Pepsi is the one that comes with the sense of regret.
21. On acceptance
waitress - "is Pepsi ok?" me - "sure, a nightmare is still a dream i guess."
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