27 Tweets About Living Alone That Are Equal Parts Hilarious And Relatable
"the only downside to living alone is when im soooo cozy and something i need is far away i actually have to get up and go get it"
Living alone gets a bad rap: There’s nothing more freeing than being able to waltz around your home, wearing whatever you want, eating whatever you want and blasting whatever you want on your playlist.
Of course, there’s some drawbacks, too: We wouldn’t wish getting the flu while living alone on anyone. (Thanks, food delivery apps, for making that part a little more bearable!)
Below, we’ve rounded up 27 funny tweets that capture all the highs and lows (“Can someone get me a roll of toilet paper? Oh, right...”) of living by yourself.
1.
Any movie where a woman living alone nibbles a snack as opposed to shoveling it into her mouth by the fistful is fake and wrong.
— Ari Scott (@ariscott) August 9, 2012
2.
Dracula had it right, sleep all day, live alone in a castle & explode into a thousand bats to get out of social situations.
— Doth (@DothTheDoth) September 16, 2023
3.
living alone is cool until you choke on some cake and realize no one would find your dead body until days later with the fork you were using to shovel red velvet cake right from the pan still in your hand
— sel (@sel_justsel) December 1, 2023
4.
Just cooking chicken nuggets and doing my Ray Romano impression over and over, you? #livingalone
— Michael Donaghy (@michaeldonaghy) October 8, 2015
5.
Being single is cool bc you can eat a whole jar of pepperoncinis and spend the rest of the night farting spicily into the abyss
— Shira (@shiraselko) October 3, 2013
6.
When you’re busy living alone and then someone knocks on your door pic.twitter.com/uUFTAJdv8J
— RaMaverick 💯% (@RamzZy_) July 27, 2023
7.
I love ruining my mental state by constantly watching serial killer documentaries as a single woman living alone in her 20’s. Really adds the right amount of ~spice~ to my life.
— Tina Colón (@tinacolon_) January 28, 2021
8.
the only downside to living alone is when im soooo cozy and something i need is far away i actually have to get up and go get it
— nesrin danan (@blackprints) November 26, 2023
9.
Living by myself in a nutshell pic.twitter.com/ZhjZDlZ8Zx
— NCH (@NCHproductions) August 28, 2023
10.
If something terrible were to happen to me. I'd like to think whoever found me would say "he had some really good tabs open." #livingalone
— Luke Johnson (@lukejohnsonpoet) December 15, 2014
11.
Living alone is kinda lit. My bra is on the kitchen table. There are snacks in my bathroom cabinet. I sit naked on my recliner. I live in organized anarchy
— m. patty mayonnaise (@highermaia) August 1, 2018
12.
single gay men who live alone love getting the tiniest and saddest looking christmas tree and kill it before 12/15....
— Justin Wolf (@NikePS5) November 30, 2023
13.
so if i spend my time eating cheese, watching Netflix, n having orgasms alone, i'm 'depressed', but if someone else is there i'm 'in love' ?
— Babs Gray (@BabsGray) March 28, 2014
14.
One of the upsides of living alone is that you can own 27 different types of rice and no one questions your sanity
— superastrofemme (@superastrofemme) November 29, 2023
15.
My biggest fear about living alone is that a crazed gunman might break in while I'm in the shower and laugh at my penis.
— Joshua Beck (@joshuabeck) December 21, 2012
16.
Living alone, I spend the day after I shave my head worried I'm walking around with an undetected tuft of hair left on the back of my head.
— James Schnable (@szintri) November 29, 2023
17.
goodbye josh https://t.co/iktzggBzZx
— tugskin (@tugskin) November 25, 2023
18.
Perks of living alone: you can eat an entire cheeseball by yourself
— Sav R. Miller (@authorsav) March 5, 2023
Cons of living alone: you eat the entire cheeseball yourself and are now paying the consequences
19.
when men threaten women with “you’re going to end up living alone with a bunch of cats” have any of them considered how fucking awesome that is pic.twitter.com/wILVGUO6wD
— youngmi mayer (@ymmayer) November 25, 2023
20.
living alone has pretty much made me a serial killer and I’m NOT SORRY pic.twitter.com/uX0fIeUsJa
— Ray Mant (@RayMant_) January 11, 2021
21.
Living alone comes with special perks, like the freedom to scratch your back against the arm of your couch while you're completely nude.
— Mary Charlene (@IamEnidColeslaw) October 10, 2011
22.
As l've gotten older, it has become clear to me why the grinch wanted to live alone with his dog.
— Christine Obert (@cdpsolutions1) November 28, 2023
23.
living alone just means i eat standing up way more now
— hootie (@hootietheeowl) December 1, 2023
24.
living alone has improved my mental health 3000% however it also seems to have made me absolutely insane
— dirt prince (@violinbee01) May 29, 2022
25.
the point of living alone when you no longer slice cheese and just nibble on the brick like the rat you are
— one love asshole (@oneloveasshole) November 24, 2023
26.
There’s a cockroach in my house and I live by myself so in conclusion I’m passing away and you guys are never going to see me ever again. This is my last tweet goodbye forever
— jojosolos (@jojosolos) June 30, 2022
27.
Who are we?
— Maggie Sage Hunter Wainerdi (@swaggie_hunter) July 23, 2018
SINGLE YOUNG PROFESSIONALS
What do we want?
FOR PERISHABLE GROCERIES TO BE SOLD IN SMALLER PORTION SIZES
This post originally appeared on HuffPost.