Here Are 28 Hilarious Tweets About Being Single Because We Have To Laugh To Keep From Crying
"Tinder is a food delivery app if you’re good at it"
Being single and actively looking for matches on a dating app is like a second job ― a terrible, soul-crushing second shift you wouldn’t wish on your worst enemy.
There’s some highs to dating ― a first date that actually ends in making plans for a second? ― and lots of time-wasting lows. Below, we’ve rounded up 30 funny tweets about being single that will hit home if you’re still swiping.
1.
I have no idea what it means when people say that they’re “just dating for fun”
— Hanna Dickinson (@hansdickie) January 24, 2022
2.
Going on a hike date wish me luck in finding out if I like someone while covered in dirt
— Blair Socci (@blairsocci) September 16, 2022
3.
first date idea: take him near a 12 foot skeleton to see if he’s lying about his height
— stoned cold fox (@roastmalone_) October 15, 2023
4.
tinder is a food delivery app if you’re good at it
— stoned cold fox (@roastmalone_) October 16, 2023
5.
I don’t hunt or fish so for my online dating profile I would just post a picture of me holding an old PS2 Controller by the cord
— jon drake (@DrakeGatsby) March 14, 2023
6.
Too many ex boyfriends like my tweets about being single.
— Eliza Skinner #wgastrong (@elizaskinner) July 5, 2022
7.
thinking about the time someone i met on dating app said "i am demisexual, i like to get to know someone a little better before we have sex" and i was like "isn't that just normal people" and she blocked me
— autodesk hate account (@duckbldg) October 18, 2023
8.
The dudes who are “afraid of commitment” are the same dudes who have committed to a single solitary bath towel for the last 12 years
— Emily Murnane (@emily_murnane) January 14, 2022
9.
Get a man to take you to Cheesecake Factory on the first date so you know he can read a book
— stoned cold fox (@roastmalone_) April 29, 2021
10.
Every time I go on a date I reward myself with a hot pocket for my open heartedness
— Blair Socci (@blairsocci) June 18, 2021
11.
on this day Lord, I ask thee to protect me from someday dating someone who wants to make TikToks together.
— Skyler Higley (@skyler_higley) June 20, 2021
12.
so single i get mad when my uber drivers aren’t as hot as their pictures
— i can be your long lost pal (@PallaviGunalan) September 17, 2021
13.
going back on hinge with the sole purpose of finding someone with in unit washer/dryer
— juniper (@junithediabetic) October 15, 2023
14.
If my mom wrote my dating profile: she’s “A LOT”
— limp brittzkit (@Brittymigs) May 17, 2023
15.
I don’t think I could date a tall guy again partly due to my irrational fear of the property brothers
— cinnamon bun (@notsofiacoppola) January 13, 2023
16.
Every single woman on Hinge loves hiking, just across the board. Is there a dating app for lazy people? That’s what I need.
— Chris Evangelista (@cevangelista413) October 17, 2023
17.
me: dating is tough, lot of weirdos out there
— trash jones (@jzux) April 4, 2022
me on a date: so here’s everything i know about the jonestown massacre
18.
Collecting people on hinge like Tamagotchis. My little Nintendogs. The Neopets I will forget to check on.
— 𝔯𝔲 𝔯𝔲 (@lilruzi) October 13, 2023
19.
Yes I’m on a dating app. No I don’t want to go on a date or meet anyone new ever. We exist
— caitie delaney (@caitiedelaney) November 10, 2021
20.
“Would you still date me if I was--“ NO. You’re already on thin ice right now.
— Skyler Higley (@skyler_higley) March 22, 2023
21.
I went on a date last night and the guy kept calling it a meet-cute and I really don’t know if he remembers we met on hinge
— Courtney Parchman (@cornydawgy) October 19, 2023
22.
Back on hinge. Seeing lots of Austin gays have "CEO" as their job title. It's nice to see equal amounts of gays represented in the scamming space.
— DunkinGay Capital (@dunkin_nyc) May 18, 2023
23.
“Date yourself” no thank you I am a nightmare.
— Lindsay Theisen (@lindsaytheis) June 18, 2021
24.
People on dating apps are like “if you don’t like tacos you don’t deserve love”
— sleepiest girl in the whole wide world (@v_dcknz) December 29, 2021
25.
my #1 love language is probably physical touch but you'll see me dead before i put that on a dating app. what do i look like some kind of pervert. don't answer that
— rishi (@rishipuff) July 23, 2022
26.
first dates in your 30s are awesome because you get to be asked when you want kids by someone you have no chemistry with
— danielle weisberg for hire (@danielleweisber) January 3, 2023
27.
gonna start introducing men i am casually dating as my insignificant other
— Cilantro.bb.95@aim.com (@bb_apes) February 5, 2023
28.
using a calculator as a dating app
— lily (@hondacrvthe3rd) October 18, 2023
This post originally appeared on HuffPost.