In this trend, two girls are usually shown under a caption that says something like “us being just friends 99% of the time,” but is then followed by another short clip in which the girls can be seen kissing eachother or being physically affectionate under a caption describing the other 1%
Queer women on TikTok have taken serious issue with this trend, as they claim the videos are queerbaiting, fetishizing, and invalidating lesbian identities. They point to the fact that these girls are predominantly straight, and do not actually identify as queer, but are making these videos for male validation. They outline a number of reasons why this is problematic...
Some have pointed out that in engaging in this kind of performative lesbianism which caters to the male gaze, it invalidates lesbian identities by implying that lesbians are not actually lesbians, and that they still desire men and male attention. This encourages men to continue pursuing lesbians even when they make it very clear that they are not interested, and can reinforce the idea that men can somehow “turn” lesbians straight. Most men don’t realize how ridiculous that line sounds coming out of their mouth, but that doesn’t stop them from using it all of the time. This not only often places lesbians in a position of discomfort, but is overall an incredibly frustrating and emotionally exhausting to have to deal with on a regular basis. It’s not a fun thing to have to constantly validate or “prove” your identity to others, and it’s videos like these which make men think this kind of behavior is acceptable.
Another point many have raised as to why this trend is harmful to queer women is that it not only invalidates identities but also invalidates the anxiety and threats to personal safety that many queer women have to deal with when out in public with their partner. Several women have made response videos talking about being afraid to even hold hands with their girlfriend when out in public, for fear that it might provoke some sort of hate-related assault or physical altercation.
A queer identity is not one that can just be easily slipped on and off, and so for straight girls to not only “play lesbian” with their bestie whenever they feel like it, but post it on the internet for male attention, is incredibly disrespectful to the lived experiences and struggles queer women often face.
Said one tiktoker in response to this trend, “being queer is not a trend besties”
Fortunately, TikTok is not simply a platform for thirst traps, but can indeed be used as a forum for meaningful discourse. Many queer women have taken this opportunity to educate and bring awareness to the likely unintentional but nevertheless harmful actions of these straight girls, and some have taken more creative spins with their critiques and reversed the trend! Slay!
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