What Are Relationship Attachment Styles And How To Detect Them?

Attachment styles people have influenced their relationships greatly, sometimes negatively. What are the main types? Learn about attachment styles in romantic relationships here.

Which Are Attachment Styles In Relationships And What Are Their Signs?

Difficulties between partners can be caused by the different attachment styles in relationships people possess. How do they appear? The model of our behavior with a person we love is formed in early childhood, and it often affects the development of romantic connections in adult life. The way an individual reacts to different circumstances, selects a spouse, and communicates with others results from experiences they previously had. Which negative sides might be caused by attachment types? Find out more about relationship attachment styles to understand your strengths and weaknesses and avoid complexities in the future.

What are the attachment styles people exploit for relationships?

Attachment is based on the first connection developed by a person. Usually, the care you get from your father and mother forms the basis of your habits, the way you satisfy your needs and cope with your emotions. As a child, you've received some amount of attention, which allowed you to build specific ties with your parents. The attachment styles in the relationship of adults depend on the quality of these primary bonds.

For example, if parents interpret a baby's emotions and needs correctly and respond to them appropriately, this person will likely be successful with relationships when grows up. Such persons will be confident, honest, and open to love. But in case a man or a woman experienced emotional distress in childhood, lack of attention, or different inconveniences caused by a caregiver, this individual will have difficulties with communication and identification of their or partner's feelings in the future.

What are the main types of attachment styles in relationships?

Understanding which attachment style is yours will help you identify and even avoid many problems when dating someone. There are 4 main types to remember:

Anxious.
Avoidant.
Secure.
Disorganized.

All the named attachment styles people demonstrate in relationships are discussed below.

Anxious attachment

People having this type highly value their relationships and believe that their partner is much better than they're. These individuals are always worried about what their sweetheart does when they're not together.

Such a person is afraid of losing the safety and care provided by their boyfriend or girlfriend. That's why they often become clingy and demonstrate actions that push their beloved ones away.

Here are the main signs of anxious attachment:

Jealousy.
Inability to fully trust your partner.
Total fixation on another person.
The desire to get lots of attention from a partner.

Avoidant attachment

Avoidant type is one of the attachment styles in romantic relationships that can harm your connection with a partner. A person of this style keeps distance and doesn't want to open up personal feelings. When someone tries to get closer, such an individual remains cold and tries to emphasize their independence. They prefer to say that they don't need anyone rather than accept the desire to be cared for.

The signs of avoidant attachment:

The desire to distance yourself from a partner.
Non-acceptance of your or someone's emotions.
Secrets kept from a sweetheart.

Secure attachment

Among different attachment styles in relationships this one is the most positive one. Of course, it doesn't mean that this type protects you from problems, but a person feels safe with a partner. It presupposes that in the past, parents gave their baby the necessary amount of attention and care, and now their child uses the model of their family when building the connection with a spouse as an adult.

Securely attached adults are self-confident, empathic, honest and want equality in their relationships. They take responsibility for their actions and decisions, support partners, and freely express their emotions. These are the signs of this style:

The open search for support from a partner.
Expression of desires and needs.
Identification of optimal problem solutions in a relationship.
Ability to quickly recover after disappointments.

Disorganized attachment

This type is also known as a fearful-avoidant attachment. A person both desires to get love and is frightened of their object of affection. Besides, such people believe they don't deserve anything good. They can't fully trust anyone and feel like the whole world is unsafe.

It's one of the most complicated types of attachment styles in relationships. It can be caused by a trauma in childhood, abuse, or any other horrible experience. People of this type tend to be anxious and often have mood swings. Which consequently makes it much harder for men to find a foreign bride.

You'll identify this attachment type by the following signs:

Fear of intimacy.
Disbalance in the desire to be close and distant to a partner at the same time.
Insensitiveness to abuse and overwhelming control in a relationship.
Display of violence, aggression, and alcohol or drug addiction.
Refusal to take responsibility for your actions.

Now that you know the attachment styles in relationships you understand what to work on and how to improve the connection with a partner. Of course, in some cases, people need the help of a therapist, so you can ask for professional assistance. The main thing here is to admit you have a problem and to be ready to let changes in your life.