First thing's first: Rapunzel's parents > Kristoff's.
Even if he were an orphan, he was clearly hanging out with the other ice harvesters. One of them had to be in charge of him, or at least looking out. Did they even care that a CHILD disappeared and was taken in by a bunch of rocks? No.
Let's move on. Everyone is always telling me "poor Anna, she was so lonely". NO. Rapunzel was lonely. She was literally alone. All day. But look at all the things she accomplishes in said day! She paints, she sews, she bakes, she reads. I can't even do that in a week.
Anna, on the other hand, at least had guards, her parents (until they died- but that wasn't until she was sixteen!), and presumably other staff around the castle. Yet what did she choose do with her time? Stare at walls and wait for Elsa to come out of her room.
On to the men. Eugene is sheer perfection. He's sarcastic as hell, resourceful, and he gradually grows to love Rapunzel. He's the most realistic Disney prince I've ever seen. Although initially all he wants is the crown, when he starts to grow intrigued by Rapunzel and her backstory, he ~sees the light~. Plus, he has a smolder. And if you don't melt when you see how he looks at her, you're heartless.
Forget the "romance" with Hans. Kristoff didn't even like Anna until "Fixer Upper" (the music in this movie is a whole other issue- no one writes songs like Alan Menken, which probably explains why this soundtrack was so bad). They didn't gradually fall in love, it kind of just happened after Hans was outed as evil. Also, not only does he share his carrots with Sven, Kristoff actually takes a bite AFTER Sven does. That is disgusting on so many levels and should be the only thing that matters. Bye, Kristoff.
Sidekicks: they're a staple in every Disney film. But Pascal and Maximus are two of the best. Pascal supports Rapunzel in everything she does and also is the king of sarcastic looks, which is me every day. Maximus's fights with Eugene are funny and don't seem forced, and by the end of the film, they're best friends.
Most people have a problem with Olaf, but I actually don't. I think he's the only good thing about Frozen because Josh Gad is hilarious no matter what. Sven, on the other hand, is a discount Maxmius if I've ever seen one.
I can't even talk about the ending of this movie without crying like a baby, but Eugene being stabbed and then "dying" was the worst thing that's ever happened. So dark, so beautiful, he sacrificed himself to save Rapunzel. That is true love, and that is why they get married and live happily ever after. You can bet 100% that "You are my new dream" is going to be in my wedding vows, whenever that day may be. I can't wait for the DCOM and the show in a few weeks so I can get more.
There is no ending in Disney history that I have more of a problem with. I have only one thing to say about this: you CANNOT "act of true love" yourself. If Pabbie says an act of true love will thaw her heart, then someone ELSE would have to perform said act- Kristoff's kiss, Elsa sacrificing herself. Literally anything. But Anna was the one who sacrificed herself for Elsa- meaning she broke the curse herself. That's not how this works.
But I digress. As much as I dislike Frozen, I do love arguing about it, and I still know all the words to "Let It Go", "Do You Wanna Build A Snowman", and "For the First Time in Forever". But if you still need some convincing that Tangled is the superior movie, the writer, Dan Fogelman, is also the writer and creator of everyone's favorite new give-me-all-the-feels show- This Is Us.
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