Here's What Women Really Think Of Your Facial Hair

"Looks like the kind of beard your mechanic might have."

1. The Full Beard

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Scarlett: I fancy him, but I don’t fancy actually kissing him. Too much going on.

Ava: This guy could pull off anything in my opinion.

Cat: He's hot and the beard looks nice and soft, but would get in the way of kissing. Oh, and bits of food would definitely get stuck in there – nah!

Amanda: This is just not hygienic. Food and other things must get caught, and that is gross.

Mandy: I’m scared I’m going to find an artifact in there from 2014...when you started growing that thing. Good for hiding weak chins/jawlines though.

2. The Extended Goatee

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Ava: I’m about this. I feel like anything too sculpted just seems pretty vain – it’s better when it’s effortless.

Joanne: This is definitely a win for me too.

Amanda: HOT. Extended goatee is HOT.

Mandy: You have to be well dressed to rock this. Any style works, but do that style PROPER.

Ayla: Yes. I would marry this man.

3. The Balbo

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Mandy: You’ll have to really prove that you’re not a pretentious subculture snob when you show up with this 'stache.

Scarlett: Anyone with a balbo is normally annoyingly opinionated.

Natalie: He’s probably named his beard and moustache something like Albert and Pierre respectively. He spends way too much time with them to not strike up daily conversations.

Ayla: The moustache part is too overgrown. If he really wants to be a dandy, he needs to get this fixed.

4. The Full Bush

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Scarlett: Looks like the kind of beard your mechanic might have. I wouldn’t want my food served by someone with that much facial hair. Is that discrimination?

Mandy: Embrace your bearhood and it's all good.

Amanda: This is fine if it is maintained and cleaned regularly. Good for the winter, but I imagine it sucks during the summer. Also, does it get full of pollen during spring??

Rebecca: Honestly, I may as well just make out with sandpaper – this grosses me out and really messes with my foundation – END THIS.

5. Pirate Chic

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Cat: Looks like this would take A LOT of grooming.

Amanda: Didn’t know pirate chic was a thing – but it’s a good thing.

Natalie: I mean, I dig the whole "Jack Sparrow" look as much as the next girl, but this beard alone looks like it takes longer to groom than my entire getting ready regime.

Mandy: These guys are always womanisers who hide it behind grand romantic gestures. NEXT.

6. The Chinstrap

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Scarlett: This is like the groomed version of a neckbeard aka still totally disgusting.

Ayla: This is what guys do to give themselves a jawline, right? There MUST be a better way.

Mandy: It doesn’t make your jawline look sharper, just makes you look duller.

Natalie: People with chinstraps wear sunglasses at night and confuse "you're" with "your", but will happily take a ruler and compass to their face to make sure their beard is perfectly precise – STOP PLEASE STOP.

7. The Chin Curtain

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Ayla: Elegant and presidential, but like, in a creepy way.

Natalie: The bottom of his face looks like a broom – to sweep away all of the haters no doubt.

Scarlett: A guy who has this beard pretends to have obscure affectations like bowties and suspender belts, but if you checked his Facebook, you’d see he was wearing Superdry in 2013.

Mandy: OK, but only because it gives me Abe Lincoln vibes. Abe got stuff done.

8. The Soul Patch

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Laura: Soul patches are so weird. They always seem to be on pervy guys who think that the way to get girls is to stare at them profusely.

Scarlett: Soul patch is the international symbol for douchebag.

Joanne: There has never been a more aggressively arrogant statement written on someone’s face: “I am a chill guy.” This is the facial hair equivalent of a pinstripe trilby.

Ayla: There is nothing soulful about this. I want to wax this little thing off in his sleep.

9. The Groomed Beard

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Scarlett: Groomed beard is floating my boat.

Ayla: Yeah, it’s pretty sexual.

Cat: I’ll take this one, thanks.

Mandy: This is the best one in my opinion, as far as facial hair goes. But you have to have nice eyes and hair ON POINT to pull it off.

Amanda: WINNER – have a beard, groom your beard, everyone wins.

No matter what anyone else thinks, when it comes to your beard, you've gotta do you. Make sure to discover the world of facial hair styling with Braun, and find your unique look.