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If Starting A Startup Were Actually How Most People Think It Is

Just grab some angel investors and GO! Developers know it's not actually this easy, but thankfully, there's Braintree. It makes it easy to accept all types of payment methods with just a few lines of code.

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1. Get great idea.

Jen Winston / BuzzFeed

Have your EUREKA moment.

2. Realize idea already exists.


Nothing is original, and it's THE WORST.

3. Change idea juuuust enough to seem like a completely different product.

Mandy Caruso / BuzzFeed

"It's like that one, except everything is voice-activated. So really, mine is new and innovative."

4. Give idea a name.

Here's a random verb generator to get you started.

Here's a random verb generator to get you started.

5. Magically acquire funding.

FOX / Via

You can handle this part, right? Good — let's move on.

6. Update personal social channels with new job title.


Then sit back and bask in all the likes.

7. Start company blog.


And go on lots of talk shows to discuss your "approach."

8. Hire people who specialize in buzzwords.


In this social landscape, boosting engagement has to be turnkey.

9. Hold fireside chat.


The first rule of team-building is NATURE. (The second is dim lighting.)

10. Buy ping-pong table.

Franklin Garcia (CC) / Via

Don't you want to be voted "Best Place to Work"?

11. Install whiteboards.

CGIAR Research Program on Climate Change, Agriculture and Food Security (CCAFS) (CC) / Via

First we take the conference rooms, then we take THE WORLD.

12. Schedule "me time" on calendar.


At a certain success level, you're basically required to relax.

13. Watch enemies roll in.

You're nobody until everybody hates you.

14. Watch other things roll in.


"Where do I keep all this? #StartupProbs!!!!!!!"

15. Let humanity become dependent.


They'll wonder how they ever lived without you. You'll tell them, "That wasn't really living at all."

16. And when the time is right, sell everything.


So you can do it all again. (Only this time, you'll have a book deal.)

No matter what your app ambitions are, Braintree gives you a simple way to accept credit cards, Apple Pay, PayPal, and more — all it takes is a few lines of code.