back to top

36 Australian Beaches Have Been Declared Unsafe For Swimming Because They're Full Of Poo

"Fecal contamination" is the official explanation.

Posted on

The Environment Protection Authority has given all of Port Phillip Bay's 36 beaches, in Melbourne, Australia, a "poor" water quality rating.

#BeachReport forecast: 36 beaches are rated POOR due to recent rain and likely stormwater pollution. Updates:…

If the EPA rates a beach as "poor" it is deemed unsuitable for swimming.

On Sunday evening Melbourne was hammered with rain, receiving one month's worth in a single night. The downpour resulted in stormwater and fecal matter flowing into Port Phillip Bay.

Melbourne, Wellington & Auckland have all banned people from swimming in the sea due to "shit" in the water. So much for 100% clean & pure.

Going for a swim in Melbourne. Shit eh?

The EPA's Dr Anthony Boxshall told The Age children and senior citizens were most at risk of becoming ill if they swam at any of the 36 beaches.

"It's gastro that we're worried about and infections," he said. "If someone had an open wound on their hand, you can get pathogens."

In January this year the EPA listed 21 Port Phillip Bay beaches as having "poor" water quality after heavy storms resulted in "fecal contamination". Really, it's just a part of living in Melbourne now.

in almost every way i have embraced Melbourne life but i have 'Melbourne beach contamination' on Google alerts and my phone is decaying fast

Brad Esposito is a news reporter for BuzzFeed and is based in Sydney, Australia.

Contact Brad Esposito at

Got a confidential tip? Submit it here.