back to top

The Life Of A Phish Fan In A World That Thinks Phish Is Stupid

If you love drugs, poor hygiene and meandering, aimless noodling, you'll love this article.

Posted on

You enjoy Phish's music.

Jeff Kravitz / FilmMagic / Getty

But they are uncool, and so are you.

Image Source / Getty

Apparently, you are into "noodling."

Maurice Alexandre http://F.P. / Flickr / Getty

You listen to music that is "meandering" and "aimless."

Cedric Favero / Flickr / Getty

You, personally, are a hippie. You smell like patchouli, hippie.

Peter Mason / Digital Vision / Getty

You don't have a job.

Tim Bewer / Lonely Planet Images / Getty

You're a terrible dancer.

Lambert / Getty

You have a drug problem.

Raw and honest imagery / Flickr / Getty

You don't even care what Phish's music sounds like, because you're too super stoned to notice.

Fuse / Getty

You don't care what Phish's music sounds like (reminder: it's terrible) as long as you're super stoned, dancing ineptly, with your unemployment check raised above your head in triumph.

Jeffrey Coolidge / Digital Vision / Getty

Basically being a Phish fan means people assuming you're an idiot. So what's the upside?

Gary Miller / FilmMagic / Getty

Are the hot, tasty grooves adequate compensation for the emotional suffering and condescension heaped upon you by a Phish-phobic society?

Tim Mosenfelder / Getty

What about the hair-raising shred riffage? Does the hair-raising shred riffage heal your wounds?

C. Taylor Crothers / FilmMagic / Getty

The light show created on the fly in sync with the music?

C Flanigan / Getty

The goofy IN THE FLOW, MAN faces?

Doug Mason / Getty

The heartening realization that musicians themselves are often indifferent to the hierarchies and boundaries of taste that critics and fans try to enforce?

Jeff Kravitz / FilmMagic / Getty

The years of musical history and group lore that make every show into its own episode of a three-decade story?

Cory Schwartz / Getty

A concert environment in which people act like human beings and help each other have a good time instead of competing for every inch of space as if standing a foot closer to the stage than the bros next to you makes you king of the monkey pack?

Jeff Kravitz / FilmMagic / Getty

The thing when — after minutes of winding chromatic anticipation — the lights go up, the crowd combusts, the music crashes like an asteroid and the world is replaced by a ocean of sound and white fire? You know, THAT thing?

C. Taylor Crothers / FilmMagic / Getty

Of COURSE it's worth it, pal.

Jeff Kravitz / FilmMagic / Getty


Jeff Kravitz / FilmMagic / Getty

Thirty years and counting. Let's keep the vibes going.

Steve Eichner / Getty
The best things at three price points