Before the NBA season, star Golden State shooter Stephen Curry announced that he would be wearing, and endorsing, a line of flavored mouthguards made by a company called MoGo. Flavors include bubble gum and fruit punch. (MoGo says flavor is "embedded" in the mouthguards' plastic, and this review confirms the taste lasts through several uses.) Candy and exercise? Sounds like a great recipe — for hot vomit stew, am I right? But it turns out that Colin Kaepernick, Pittsburgh Penguins forward Evgeni Malkin, all-time leading NCAA lacrosse scorer Matt Danowski and a crew of other pros also endorse MoGo's products, which the company says are sold in 2,000 sporting goods stores in the United States. (They're definitely sold online by Dick's and Eastbay.)
In case this strange-sounding idea was in fact the wave of the future, we scientifically evaluated several MoGo flavors with a team of flavor professionals/people who were in the BuzzFeed office on a Friday.
Rating on a 1-10 scale: 3
Tasting notes: "Smells like a car freshener. Tastes like what I'd assume one of those Mr. Sketch markers to taste like."
Rating on a 1-10 scale: 6
Tasting notes: "The best choice because you're used to having mint gum in your mouth." "[Whimpering.]"
Rating on a 1-10 scale: 2
Tasting notes: "Orangey." "Would be nice with some white wine and mashed potatoes." (This guy was being a wiseass.) "Bears an uneasy resemblance to the flavor of bile creeping up the back of your throat just before you vomit." (From the review linked above.)
Rating on a 1-10 scale: 4
Tasting notes: "You're sucking really hard to get the flavor." "Reminds me of that stuff you get at the dentist." "The sensation is basically, 'my gum is almost completely out of flavor.'"
- Mint was the best-received flavor, and there was one big fan of Strawberry Blast.
- Still, overall, none of them were very appealing; they have an aspartame-like chemical taste. A MoGo rep says that the mouthguards do NOT contain artificial sweeteners and that the company only uses "all-natural" ingredients, but that he can't disclose what those ingredients are. My guess is that one of them is the fruit of the Diet Coke tree.
- Most people who wear mouthguards are not adults. They're kids in youth sports programs.
- Kids like candy flavors more than adults and aren't as snobby about things like "chemical taste."
- In contact sports mouthguards are important for protecting yo' face and teeth; kids don't like wearing mouthguards because they're uncomfortable and dorky; if lemon flavoring and the imprimatur of pro athletes will get kids to be safer, that's not such a bad thing, so long as you believe MoGo's assertions about all-natural ingredients. So go out and get your bubble gum sports equipment, kids, if that what it takes.