1. Step 1: Be a football fan. (A fan of the Washington State Cougars, in this case.)
2. Step 2: Watch your team get blown out (Washington State lost tonight to Stanford 55-17) and become increasingly depressed.
3. Step 3: Give up completely on football, dignity, and the entire concept of civilized society and just dump a giant plastic sack of popcorn on your face because it’s easier than using your hands to eat.
“Fuck this shit.” —Washington State Popcorn Guy
4. We’ve all been there.
9. Stay safe tonight, Washington State Popcorn Guy.
- Donald Trump promised insurance for everyone this weekend, but Senate Republicans say they assume he misspoke.
- President Barack Obama shortened Chelsea Manning's 35-year sentence for leaking documents to WikiLeaks. She'll be freed in May.
- Blue Lies Matter: Video finally proved that police officers lie — and why they get away with it.
- A Toronto man is on a mission to bathe at a different stranger's house every day this month. And so far, so good 🛀