The dude above is Andre Drummond, a very young NBA player — 19 years old — for the Detroit Pistons. He’s 6’10” and 270 pounds and, most distressingly for opponents, is made out of hot fire. He just got done playing for the Pistons’ team in the NBA’s Summer League, a kind of offseason minor league in which young players and journeymen can get playing experience and/or try to impress scouts and coaches. Even in this pool of players, Drummond stands out as a youngster; all 12 other guys on the Pistons’ summer roster were older than him, for example. But it was the opposing players who looked physically underdeveloped by comparison to Drummond. To wit:
This unfortunate driving guard probably KNOWS that Andre Drummond is huge and explosive, but still can’t quite account for it and, thus, is exterminated.
Boxing Andre Drummond out is something you should do in theory to prevent him from getting easy putback dunks. In practice, you have been thunder-dunked on and exterminated.
5. BLAM!!! (part II: the re-blammening)
Drummond does this so casually, while #1 in white appears to be made out of cement.
The shot clock was running down and #44 had little choice but to take a shot, have that shot rejected, and crawl into a hole to write a memoir called Andre Drummond Ruined My Life And Humiliated My Family.
This last one is probably the most vicious of all, though:
7. [EXPLOSION NOISES]
The game announcer, on this play againt the Miami Heat’s squad: “He just put the entire city of Miami through the rim.” That’s accurate. The Heat were unable to play any subsequent summer-league games, because it’s hard to play basketball when everyone on your team has gone blind because Andre Drummond’s drop-step dunk combusted their eyeballs.
8. Before you go to sleep tonight, make sure to lock your doors and check under the bed and behind the shower curtain for Andre Drummond.
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