The 17 DOs And DON’Ts Of Awesome Tailgating

There isn’t really a wrong way to tailgate, but with another football season about to begin, here’s some advice on getting as much fun as you can out of a day at the lot.

1. DO Take It Easy The Night Before So You Can Get Up Early And Park As Close To The Stadium As Possible

Idaho Statesman / McClatchy-Tribune / Getty

2. DON’T Bring Frozen, Pre-Formed Hamburger Patties

Steven Depolo via Flickr

Pamela Graham via Flickr


Eating a frozen hamburger is a waste of 1) meat and 2) the minutes you have left in your life before you die.

3. DO Bring Enough Food To Give Some To The People In Adjacent Parking Spaces

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It’s a pro move to establish good vibes with your neighbors right away.

4. DON’T Be A Scold About The Technical Difference Between A “Barbeque” And A “Cookout”


5. DO Bring More Ice Than You Think You Will Possibly Ever Be Able To Use

Barcroft Media / Getty

Make sure your beer is cold and frosty heading into hours three through ten!

6. DO Bring Something To Help Pass The Time

David Reber / Via Flickr: davidreber

These guys have it made.

7. DO Make Sure You Have A Way To Keep Up With Other Games

arctic_whirlwind / Via Flickr: antciardiello

8. DON’T Play Ladder Toss

It looks’ like a kids’ toy. Football is a game for grown men and the women who can drink them under the table.

9. DO Play Cornhole

Erika Goldring / Getty

Throw a SACK in a HOLE? More like it.

10. DO Bring A Football And Dent Some Poor Sucker’s Car Hood With An Errant Punt


“Go long! Nice! Okay, I’m going to try and punt this one! [sound of hard object falling from 50 feet in the air onto a thin sheet of metal] Whoops.”

11. DON’T Leave A Mess

Bill Frakes / Sports Illustrated / Getty

12. DON’T Get So Drunk That You Miss The Game

13. DON’T Forget That You Can Tailgate After The Game Too

amberley johanna / Via Flickr: amberlina

14. DO Walk Around The Parking Lot With A Case Of Beer Talking To Strangers

Bill Frakes / Sports Illustrated / Getty

15. DO Get So Jacked Up For The Game That You Nearly Explode

Ronald Martinez / Getty

And, most importantly:

17. DO Forget About All The Dumb Stress Of Everyday Existence While You Bask In The Greatness Of Being Free And Alive On A Beautiful Fall Weekend

isabellawalles / Via

It’s football season again, everyone.

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