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1. A Christmas sweatshirt that reminds us what this season is really about, and that's T. rex Santa Godzilla shooting lightning out of its mouth while comets rain down from the skies.

Promising review: "I just won Christmas." —TAXMAN1976
Price: $17.99+. Available in 21 designs
2. A sweater with Stormtroopers firing Christmas cheer lasers out of candy-cane guns.

Price: $39.95
3. A sweater that gives it up for the guy who made it all possible.

4. This Chanukah tuxedo T-shirt eyesore.

Promising review: "It's even gloriously better/worse than I could have ever possibly imagined!!!" —rachel e. heller
Price: $17.71+
5. A sweater vest. Extra points for sweater vests.

6. A Christmas sweater complete with tinsel-ball suspenders.
Promising review: "I won the ugly Christmas sweater contest this year. The cut was a little small." —Theresa Danielle Driscoll
Price: $59.95
7. A Fair Isle knit that beautifully illustrates the origins of this sacred holiday.

Promising review: "This sweater is great; it says I love America, Jesus, Santa, and The Lion King all in one." —Jim Beamer
Price: $24.99+
8. A creepy horseface sweater to match your creepy horseface mask.

Promising review: "Got four and took a family photo with my roommates. Needless to say, we were the most popular guys in JCPenney." —Brian Hartkopf
Price: $26.99
9. A shiny, joyous tribute to the Christmas Kraken.

Promising review: "This sweater is absolutely magnificent for your Christmas parties. It's soft, the Santa octopus is wonderful, and I am very pleased with this purchase." —L. M. Nelson
Price: $29
10. A sweater for anyone trying to avoid bullshit this holiday season.

Promising review: "My first name is Felicia, so when I saw this sweater I HAD to have it. The only thing I don't like about it is that when Christmas is over I have to wait another year to wear it again. Whomp whomp." —TheNotoriousMOM
Price: $18.99+
11. These Christmas pullovers that keep it Fresh.
12. A sweater that sees Santa in a new light.

13. A Chanukah sweater filled with Chappiness.

14. This festive number with everyone's favorite photo-bombing Christmas sloth.

Promising review: "Wore this to my job interview and got hired." —Daniel Kerley
Price: $38.64
15. A Christmas sweater that's pretttttty dark, you guys!

Promising review: "Funny sweater with a great concept! Run before you get picked up and eaten." —Love a deal!
Price: $39.95
16. A holiday T-shirt that keeps it classy.

Promising review: "It's like a train wreck. You just can't take you eyes off it." —Amazon Customer
Price: $17.72+
17. A Christmas knit with an alternative ending.

Promising review: "It's my firm belief that Christmas isn't gory enough, so imagine my surprise when I discovered this little gem. Fits well, soft and cozy, annoys the right relatives." --Thaddeus and Amanda
Price: $16.83
18. A sweater for believers.

Promising review: "Speaks for itself. If you wear this sweater, getting ladies will be no problemo." —Eric Kurtz
Price: $42.02
19. A sweatshirt covered in terrified-looking Santacats.

Promising review: "Purrfectly Christmas." —Amazon Customer
Price: $37
20. A sweater for people who do Crossfit.

Promising review: "Fits a little small. Super-nice quality. Can't wait to wear this bitch to the gym." —Jacob Hatcher
Price: $26.24
21. A cozy sweater for creationists.

22. A sweater that's simple, yet elegant.

23. A sweater for 🎶 prospero año y felicidad. 🎶

Promising review: "Perfect for our Christmas card this year." —Amazon Customer
Price: $49.99+
24. This gift to mankind.

25. This is just, you know, cats burning up presents with the lasers coming from their eyes.

26. And a sweater for anyone celebrating the season in warmer climes.

The reviews for this post have been edited for length and clarity.