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1. A T-rex sweatshirt that'll really get everyone into the holiday spirit when they realize your competitiveness will never go ~extinct~.
2. A light-up sweater to guarantee hands-down you'll be the center of attention all darn night.
3. A gingerbread sweater so you can let everyone know that your confidence in winning has never been ~stronger~.
4. A charming sweater vest for winning your ugly sweater contest *and* guaranteeing you'll be the only person not sweating by the end of the night.
5. A 3D bow sweater, because quite frankly it's about time your entire office recognizes what a gift you are. In fact, wear this all year. They should never forget.
6. A friendly snowman sweater that'll make you feel sweeter than eggnog. Until things get competitive, at least.
7. A Hanukkah-themed pullover so you can prove eight nights of dreidels and latkes are better than one night of a man in red breaking into your home.
8. A mermaid Santa sweater for anyone who's more than ready for a tropical vacation. I'm sure Santa will want to join you after, oh I don't know, delivering presents to almost EVERY HOUSE around the WORLD?
9. A festive manatee sweater, because it turns out your ~porpoise~ in life is to outshine everyone at the party.
10. A tinseled pom-pom sweater that'll remind everyone where you belong: at the top of the tree. Because you are a star.
11. A sequined llama sweater so everyone knows you don't go ~soft~ when it comes to winning contests. This is SERIOUS, people.
12. A magical sweater, because it's high time people recognize just how flipping cool Santa is — if they don't, just remind them what's waiting in their stockings. COAL.
13. A cheerful knit in multiple patterns for cheaply stocking up on a series of WINNERS if you have multiple parties to attend.
14. An adorable dog-printed knit that'll give everyone puppy eyes when it's time to vote. How could anyone betray such a cutie? They cannot.
15. A pom-pom snowman sweater so you can ~melt~ everyone's hearts with your sweet taste.
16. A knitted tunic for reaching the pinnacle of holiday spirit. Santa himself couldn't top this.
17. A light-up sweater, because people can take this literally or figuratively. It's their call.
18. A festive cardigan that'll keep you from sweating in your overheated office *and* help you stand out from a sea of knits.
19. A glittery pullover that'll simply describe your outfit with the truth. Will this give you more confidence to sing karaoke? I believe YES.
20. An honest sweatshirt so you can just point whenever a coworker asks for the umpteenth time, "how's your love life going?". It's going GREAT, I just discovered my new favorite merlot.
21. A holiday kitty sweatshirt, because no one will be able to deny that this is the epitome of fashion. Should you wear this all the time? Absolutely.
22. A sequined penguin sweater that'll make your outfit look *fly* — is that still a sore spot for these lil' guys?
23. A glittery polar bear sweater for proving impressing the heck out of everyone every single year is never im~paw~sible. In fact, they should come to expect it.
24. A reindeer sweater in multiple styles so you too can save Christmas when everyone else shows up in boring outfits. Looks like, once again, it's all up to Rudolph.
25. A charming pom-pom sweater, because you won't have to ~train~ it to win you a trophy. It'll capture people's hearts all on its own.
26. A Hanukkah-themed sweater so you're appropriately dressed when you invite everyone to Festivus. Oh...what is it? Nothing but joy. There is no yelling whatsoever.
27. A dino sweater for making sure first prize is *not* just out of ~reach~.
Taking in the glory of winning your ugly Christmas sweater party in a LANDSLIDE like:
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