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    65 Thoughts I Had While Watching The Premiere Of Summer House

    Bravo's new show that follows a group of twenty and thirty somethings seems like a boozy, fun mess.

    1. The Summer House Season 1 Cast

    2. Who knew The Hamptons could also be known as “Your mom’s friend who wears pearls”?

    3. Is this just going to be a boozy mess?

    4. Probably

    5. As Stassi said best, why is there house so big?

    6. Kyle seems like quite the charmer

    7. The intro montage reminds me of The Hills meets The City

    8. Kyle and Stassi were so close to having a moment in the hot tub… until Kyle forgot her name

    9. Stassi is throwing all the shade in this hot tub right now

    10. Maybe Kyle’s next move shouldn’t have been to point out her turtleneck and say she looked like Steve Jobs

    11. Good to know Steve Jobs is one of your idols Kyle.

    12. What does it mean to even like recently single people, Kyle?

    13. “The only way it could be worse if you were like a serial killer” - Stassi

    14. Seems like a swing and a miss Kyle

    15. Kyle’s comment on Stassi’s nipple? Too much

    16. Kyle realizing he may have had too much to drink? Priceless

    17. Rosé pong? Who can afford that?

    I mean obviously them

    18. Kyle’s posing is too much

    19. The Wirkus twins have a great analysis of Kyle

    ...including that there's moe than just the abs

    20. Stephen late to the party on the Steve Jobs reference

    21. And Stassi’s responding glare

    22. Kyle seems to be really good at putting his foot in his mouth

    23. Stephen describing Drunk Kyle as “a Ken doll doing tai chi underwater” is way too accurate

    24. These hangovers look miserable before they’re even asleep

    25. How do they even manage to go to work?

    26. Night and day transformations with these people wow

    27. “Half my social media feed is Coachella, Burning Man and then the other half is baby after baby, wedding after wedding and I’m somewhere in between.” - Lauren

    PREACH

    28. That margarita machine though...

    29. This car ride between Lauren and Carl

    30. Wow the story about the clogged toilets in your summer house definitely makes for great conversation

    31. Stephen agreeing Carl is a player so early in the summer seems like a bold move

    32. Kyle having a guilty conscience of juggling multiple women? There might be promise for him yet

    33. Sister-sister chat between the Wirkuss twins could be its own show

    34. It could be called Wirkus Circus, after the nickname Everett gave them

    35. 2 months and getting married? WHAT

    Seems promising

    36. "Perfect storm of big personalities and crazy people" - Cristina

    At least no one can say you didn't know what you were getting into

    37. A TICK PIC

    38. DEAD

    39. How did Carl survive drinking a bottle of rosé the size of a small child?

    The world may never know

    40. Summer social goals? Go

    41. I'm surprised everyone didn't say find Lauren a man

    42. Steven’s judgmental comments about summer goals is LIFE

    43. Kyle and Carl invented a word, Broment.

    GOOD

    44. How long did it take them to realize Carl was missing from the bar?

    45. Omg they are so loud in the kitchen

    46. Breaking up with someone just so you're not cuffed during the summer? Classy, Kyle

    47. They are surprisingly pale for having a house in Montauk

    48. This tension between Cristina and Lindsay is too much

    49. “Her job is literally to spread gossip”

    Then why are you friends with her?

    50. Lindsay and Everett vom

    51. Curious if Cristina and Steven ended up playing their drinking game?

    52. And if so how many drinks did they have?

    53. "Ugh that was a Ferrari"

    Sure it was Kyle...

    54. "I stare because I care"

    Did you steal that from Monsters Inc., Carl?

    55. At least Carl isn't subtle about his flirting

    56. He's really going for it now

    French Toast and all

    57. This shopping trip now

    58. I feel bad for the odd Wirkus twin out

    59. How is possible that Lindsay and Cristina spend so much time together?

    It's like they're dating

    60. Back to the club (where only good things happen)

    61. Now Steven is telling Ashley that Carl is a good guy?

    Quick turn-around

    62. Go Lauren for taking charge

    63. Oh they really went for it

    64. Seems like the start of somethin new

    65. I can't wait to see where this show goes