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65 Thoughts I Had While Watching The Premiere Of Summer House

Bravo's new show that follows a group of twenty and thirty somethings seems like a boozy, fun mess.

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1. The Summer House Season 1 Cast

Cristina, Carl, Lindsay, Kyle, Jaclyn, Stephen, Ashley, Lauren, and Everett (L-R)

Cristina, Carl, Lindsay, Kyle, Jaclyn, Stephen, Ashley, Lauren, and Everett (L-R)

2. Who knew The Hamptons could also be known as “Your mom’s friend who wears pearls”?

3. Is this just going to be a boozy mess?

4. Probably

5. As Stassi said best, why is there house so big?

6. Kyle seems like quite the charmer

7. The intro montage reminds me of The Hills meets The City

8. Kyle and Stassi were so close to having a moment in the hot tub… until Kyle forgot her name

9. Stassi is throwing all the shade in this hot tub right now

10. Maybe Kyle’s next move shouldn’t have been to point out her turtleneck and say she looked like Steve Jobs

11. Good to know Steve Jobs is one of your idols Kyle.

12. What does it mean to even like recently single people, Kyle?

13. “The only way it could be worse if you were like a serial killer” - Stassi

14. Seems like a swing and a miss Kyle

15. Kyle’s comment on Stassi’s nipple? Too much

16. Kyle realizing he may have had too much to drink? Priceless

17. Rosé pong? Who can afford that?

I mean obviously them

18. Kyle’s posing is too much

19. The Wirkus twins have a great analysis of Kyle

...including that there's moe than just the abs

20. Stephen late to the party on the Steve Jobs reference

21. And Stassi’s responding glare

22. Kyle seems to be really good at putting his foot in his mouth

23. Stephen describing Drunk Kyle as “a Ken doll doing tai chi underwater” is way too accurate

24. These hangovers look miserable before they’re even asleep

25. How do they even manage to go to work?

26. Night and day transformations with these people wow

27. “Half my social media feed is Coachella, Burning Man and then the other half is baby after baby, wedding after wedding and I’m somewhere in between.” - Lauren


28. That margarita machine though...

29. This car ride between Lauren and Carl

I can't even

I can't even

30. Wow the story about the clogged toilets in your summer house definitely makes for great conversation

31. Stephen agreeing Carl is a player so early in the summer seems like a bold move

32. Kyle having a guilty conscience of juggling multiple women? There might be promise for him yet

33. Sister-sister chat between the Wirkuss twins could be its own show

34. It could be called Wirkus Circus, after the nickname Everett gave them

35. 2 months and getting married? WHAT

Seems promising

36. "Perfect storm of big personalities and crazy people" - Cristina

At least no one can say you didn't know what you were getting into


38. DEAD

39. How did Carl survive drinking a bottle of rosé the size of a small child?

The world may never know

40. Summer social goals? Go

41. I'm surprised everyone didn't say find Lauren a man

42. Steven’s judgmental comments about summer goals is LIFE

43. Kyle and Carl invented a word, Broment.


44. How long did it take them to realize Carl was missing from the bar?

45. Omg they are so loud in the kitchen

46. Breaking up with someone just so you're not cuffed during the summer? Classy, Kyle

47. They are surprisingly pale for having a house in Montauk

48. This tension between Cristina and Lindsay is too much

49. “Her job is literally to spread gossip”

Then why are you friends with her?

50. Lindsay and Everett vom

51. Curious if Cristina and Steven ended up playing their drinking game?

52. And if so how many drinks did they have?

53. "Ugh that was a Ferrari"

Sure it was Kyle...

54. "I stare because I care"

Did you steal that from Monsters Inc., Carl?

55. At least Carl isn't subtle about his flirting

56. He's really going for it now

French Toast and all

57. This shopping trip now

58. I feel bad for the odd Wirkus twin out

59. How is possible that Lindsay and Cristina spend so much time together?

It's like they're dating

60. Back to the club (where only good things happen)

61. Now Steven is telling Ashley that Carl is a good guy?

Quick turn-around

62. Go Lauren for taking charge

63. Oh they really went for it

64. Seems like the start of somethin new

65. I can't wait to see where this show goes

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