1. When Tanya swapped her and Amber's babies so Conrad wouldn't find out Frank was actually the father of her child.
2. This was because Tanya got pregnant thinking it was Conrad's baby when in fact her ex-husband Frank had been poking holes in the condoms.
3. And Tanya was so desperate for the plan to work that she got the nurse to fake tan the baby so it looked more like Amber.
4. The whole storyline got twisted when Amber's dog sat on her baby's face and killed him.
5. Amber never had much luck with dogs tbh. Her first dog, Simba, somehow ended up being cooked in a curry and served at their welcoming party.
6. Amber was at the centre of a lot of batshit storylines, like when she faked her own kidnapping because Conrad was having an affair with Tanya.
7. Things were pretty fucking wild when Jason got chucked off the roof at his own wedding renewal.
8. One of the most ludicrous things to ever happen was when Harley and Shannon got married, went up in a hot air balloon, and somehow landed in a lion's enclosure.
9. Chardonnay's boobs got set on fire at her own hen do.
10. But her and Kyle finally got married and it was a literal fairytale, with a whole scene where Kyle rode in on a horse to wake his sleeping beauty.
11. Jason slept with Jackie, who was the mother of his best friend Kyle, and got her pregnant.
12. Which led to a secondary storyline where the baby was adopted by Kyle and Chardonnay, and born with a penis, an ovary, and a womb.
13. Noah started having an affair with Conrad, so Tanya set him up with a rent boy and did a live video feed of them shagging to an entire party of people.
14. And because sex is a great foundation for friendship, Conrad actually asked Noah to be his son's godfather.
15. Noah eventually joined the church to try and pray away the gay and ended up getting into a relationship with his pastor's daughter.
16. Kyle got a stalking super-fan who was later found dead in his swimming pool.
17. When Frank was in hospital, his nurse Jeanette tried to have sex with him while he was unconscious.
18. Poor Frank just didn't really stand a chance. Tanya had sex with him so he'd have a heart attack and die.
19. Ian and Donna's daughter got kidnapped by their pool cleaner.
20. Kyle literally joined a fight club to pay off his gambling debts.
21. When Conrad and Tanya were having an affair, she scammed her way onto Conrad's private jet as an air stewardess so they could join the mile high club.
22. Amber only discovered the affair because Tanya scratched the letter "T" onto Conrad's backside with her fake nails while they were having sex.
23. Amber swapped Tanya's sun bed lotion for revenge and Tanya ended up looking like Freddy Krueger.
24. Tanya got arrested for carrying drugs and was sentenced to six months community service, but she hired a lookalike to do the community service for her.
25. Amber tried to reinvent herself as a pop star and released a song called "Bhangra Bootie / West End Lady".
26. Conrad got a massive tattoo that covered his entire back to show his dedication to Amber and their newly named son Phoenix and nearly died.
27. Amber flirted with Peter Andre when he made a cameo appearance to try and make a collaboration happen and to make Conrad jealous.
28. Katie Price also made a cameo, when she literally appeared out of nowhere at Shannon's wedding to tell her how to use her boobs in her wedding pictures.
29. Anthony Worrall Thompson popped in for a cameo too when he catered for Hazel's birthday party.
30. Bruno bought his wife, Lucy, a necklace that was actually a tracker so he knew where she was at all times.
31. Roger, the manager of the football team, threw a bottle at Conrad in the changing rooms, which definitely was not an ode to that David Beckham story.
32. But Roger Webb got his comeuppance when he got shot, went blind, and fell down an elevator shaft and died.
Long live Footballers Wives, the best TV show to ever exist.
