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    15 Funny Tumblr Posts By “Bad Jokes By Jeff”

    Despite the name, the jokes are really good.

    1.

    To the hacker who hacked into my tumblr account, I will find you. (Edit: no, you wont’t)

    2.

    How do you get rich in Ancient Greece? Well, step one, become an Oracle. Step two: Prophet.

    3.

    People ask me where I store all my dad jokes. In a dad-a-base.

    4.

    I was crossing the street when I suddenly noticed my ex getting run over by a bus. I thought to myself, “Wow! That could have been me!” Then I remembered I can’t drive a bus :(.

    5.

    America seems to have successfully prevented a second wave of corona. By keeping the first one going.

    6.

    My girlfriend changed a lot since becoming a vegan. It’s like I’ve never seen herbivore.

    7.

    We cannot allow this year to end. That would be admitting 2021.

    8.

    The sweater I bought recently kept picking up static-electricity, so I returned it to the store. They gave me another one, free of charge.

    9.

    I was walking with my girlfriend when a random guy whistled at her and said, “nice ass”. She was clearly annoyed and demanded I say something. So I turned around and said, “thank you, I’ve been doing squats.”

    10.

    My grandad always said, “as one door closes, another one opens.” Lovely man, terrible cabinet maker.

    11.

    What is the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well dressed man on a bicycle? Attire.

    12.

    12.

    This girl on tinder asked me why I have an unlit cigarette in my picture. I told her that I am looking for matches.

    13.

    A lumberjack went into a magic forest to cut a tree, Upon arrival, he started to swing at a tree, it shouted, “Wait! I’m a talking tree”. The lumberjack smiled, “and you will dialogue”.

    14.

    I dig, you dig, she digs, we dig, they dig. It’s not a long poem, but it’s deep.

    15.

    I dreamed I saw a color I never saw before, it was just a pigment of my imagination.