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    32 Things That Are, Uh, A Little Bit Weird

    Er, hmmmm.......

    1. A Godzilla lawn ornament for people who don't trust gnomes.

    2. A calendar filled with pooping dogs to ironically make 2020 feel less crappy.

    3. A stretchy, mushy...piece of poop. Yup!

    4. A pair of Guy Fieri earrings ready to take your ears to flavortown.

    5. A Nic Cage sequin pillowcase you can flip to red when you want the Face/Off.

    6. Squishy egg toys that puke yolk when you squeeze 'em. Delightful!

    7. A Star Wars book of battle stages for your biggest thumb war throw downs.

    8. An unnerving bikini that's one in a minion.

    9. A really buff Pokémon sticker for trainers who have clearly spent a lot of time at the local gym.

    10. A simply ~splashing~ shower curtain featuring Nigel and his...Thornberrys.

    11. Or a transparent shower curtain with pockets so you can keep up with your ~soaps~.

    12. An elephant G-string for anyone with a lot of junk in the trunk.

    13. A pimple popper simulation so you don't have to wreck your face with your popping impulses.

    14. A set of brain slice coasters for doctors, nurses, scientists, and...serial killers?

    15. A poke-able corgi butt mousepad if you're into that kind of thing.

    16. Or one featuring a cat riding a unicorn over a rainbow, because sure why not?

    17. A raygun nose trimmer, because it's 2020 and time to start living in the future.

    18. A book of dark and disturbing stock photos to flip through when you want to get really bummed out.

    19. A pack of stretchy chicken shooters you can slingshot at your desk neighbors when they're henpecking you.

    20. A coloring book featuring cat butts or farting animals that'll be a ~gas~ to color in.

    21. A pack of push pins so you can hang up all your buzz-worthy photos.

    22. A phone case of Ross Gellar for people who are FINE.

    23. A snowman building kit you can mold into whatever deranged shape you want.

    24. A custom voodoo doll to help you get revenge remotely, the old-fashioned way.

    25. A reverse merperson enamel pin for a cheeky new look.

    26. A cable charm that protects your cord from fraying AND makes it look like a unicorn is nibbling on your phone.

    27. A book of rude puzzles for adults who love a good teaser.

    28. A pair of wolf boxers that'll make you howl with laughter.

    29. Toilet Tag — a game you play with a partner while you're each on the toilet. Try to predict the future, answer hypotheticals, and play mini games one bathroom trip at a time.

    30. A pair of earrings that might be your best accessories yet — just don't put all your eggs in one basket.

    31. Funny faced sandals worth bringing on your next vacation.

    32. And a bottle-sized glass of wine, so you don't have to worry about refilling all the dang time.

    Live footage of me showing off all my weird stuff:

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