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    29 Things For The Grouchiest Person You Know

    Shout-out to all the people whose mood ring is always black.


    We hope you love the products we recommend! Just so you know, BuzzFeed may collect a share of sales from the links on this page. Oh, and FYI — prices are accurate and items in stock as of time of publication.

    1. A firm but fair tee that lets Grumpy Cat say "NO!" for you.

    Thanks, Grumpy Cat!

    Promising review: "Impressed — this is one of the softest printed T-shirts I own. The print quality is good." —OC-Adam

    Get it from Amazon for $19.95 (available in sizes S–XXL).

    2. A sparkly keychain looking to swap places with Ariel in The Little Mermaid.

    Promising review: Not gonna lie...bought this as a Christmas present and when I got it in the mail, it was too cute to give it away and now it’s on my keys! Whoops!" —Chelsea

    Get it from UnicornRockStar on Etsy for $15.

    3. A pack of abusive balloons to break out when it's someone really annoying's birthday.

    Promising review: "Very thick balloons. Lasted days after our party. Definitely funny and everybody asked where we got them." —Just Jess

    Get a pack of 10 for $15.99.

    4. A skull spoon that's representative of how you feel about mornings.

    Promising review: "Even though it really doesn't hold any sugar, the spoon does look really cool and it's durable. It's also dishwasher safe, which is nice. Just don't purchase it if you were really looking forward to actually using it as a sugar spoon. I bought this for my mom and she said it's really difficult to actually use it for sugar, but she's still absolutely obsessed with it!" —jdepp

    Get it from Amazon for $7.45+ (available in two finishes).

    5. A neon light dedicated to how much you love the word "ugh."

    Get it from Urban Outfitters for $79.

    6. A festive garland laying down some ground rules for your party.

    It's not rude if it's written in glitter.

    Get it from LettersOfLuce on Etsy for $12.97 (available in five colors) or something similar from Amazon for $14.95.

    7. An oven mitt that understands the joy that comes with wielding a sharp blade.

    Promising review: "I love this '50s-style oven mitt! The colors are a bit brighter than I'd anticipated, but the joke speaks to me. My friends think it's hilarious in a cute/psycho way." —Alyssa Bernblum

    Get it from Amazon for $12.99.

    8. A teabag or spoon rest for people looking to enjoy their tea in solitude, thanks.

    Get it from WooodlandFactory on Etsy for $14.42 (available in three designs).

    9. A pair of socks to wear on days you truly can't even.

    Promising review: "The color on these socks is just as true and vibrant as you see in the photo. They have a nice durable thickness that makes me confident they will last for a good long time and not fall apart. The color has held through several washes. I love Blue Q." —Skylor

    Get them from Amazon for $9.99 (available in 35 styles).

    10. A flashy pin inspired by all the times you texted someone to duck off.

    Get it from ShatteredStore on Etsy for $10.

    11. A pair of sound-canceling headphones you can count on as a reasonable excuse as to why you never chime in on the conversation at work.

    Promising review: "Awesome headphones! I bought these for work. I share a large office with another person and needed something to block out his constant talking to himself. I have several other Bluetooth headphones but I can't turn them up loud enough to drown him out without damaging my hearing (I've tried). These work magnificently! The sound quality is exceptional: very close to my Bose headphones but at less than a quarter of the cost. Highly recommend these." —Mark E.

    Get it from Amazon for $69.99+ (available in three colors).

    12. A classic pink eraser that says "go away" to all those unwanted pencil marks (and people).

    Get it from MeanieMart on Etsy for $1.50.

    13. A retro mug to sip out of while performing the tenth eye-roll of the day.

    Get it from Firebox for $13.19.

    14. A "Do Not Disturb" sign that doubles as a bottle opener so you can take care of all your troubles in one fell swoop (swig?).

    Get it from Amazon for $13.90.

    15. A coffin-shaped, embroidered patch meant to be worn front and center so everyone knows you're dead serious.

    Get it from Custom69 on Etsy for $4.76.

    16. Perpetual Disappointments Diary — a guided journal you can vent to about all of life's little injustices.


    Promising review: "Every year is fraught with tools and troubles. Finally a yearly diary that lives up (or down) to expectations." —Cheryl Claussen

    Get it from Amazon $14.13.

    17. A set of bad parking notes that will save so much time in the parking lot each morning.

    There are five different messages, including tell-offs like "Learn to park, asshole," and "Ford 3:50 — And the Lord sayeth, you park like a fucking moron."

    Get a pack of 50 from Amazon for $12.99.

    18. A seemingly friendly mug to take huge swigs from whenever someone gets on your nerve.

    Promising review: "I got this for my retired father who lives with me. He now uses it to passive-aggressively provide feedback to my morning chatter. This has brought him an innumerable amount of happiness and glee." —Andrew A. Russell

    Get it from Amazon for $6.79.

    19. A squishy stress toy you can squeeze the heck out of when you hit the fist-clenching anger stage of the day.,

    Get a pack of five cat-themed squishies for $6.99 or a strawberry for $9.99, both from Amazon.

    20. A T-shirt happy to help people decipher your nuanced facial expressions.

    Promising review: "I gave this to my husband to get my point across about his attitude lately. He thought it was funny and realized he was a little 'grumpy' lately." —Jacvccm1

    Get it from Amazon for $16.99+ (available in sizes S–4XL).

    21. A lovely print, perfect for anyone who aspires to have their own Stanley Hudson–level outburst.

    Get it from Ratbeef on Etsy for $7.93+ (available in two sizes).

    22. An emoji pillow capable of serving devastating looks even when you're not around.

    Promising review: "Got this as a Christmas gag gift for my wife. It was not well received, but still worth it! Pillow is hilarious, fluffy, and soft. Hopefully it will keep its shape over time." —AJ

    Get it from Amazon for $6.95.

    23. Caffeinated chocolate to soothe your 4 p.m. crankiness.

    Promising review: "These chocolate bars are friggin' awesome! They taste absolutely nothing like coffee. It says it has 101 mg of caffeine (about a cup of coffee) but it seems to do a better job in waking me up!" —HardyHar

    Get a pack of 12 from Amazon for $19.99.

    24. A laundry bag that doubles as a punching bag so you can unleash your fury over having to do laundry yet again.

    Use it to relieve some stress on days you might actually eat a Tide Pod.

    Promising review: "What a great buy. Way bigger than I was expecting, just the right size. Good strong materials and quality." —JL

    Get it from Amazon for $32.

    25. A Funko Pop! doll dedicated to the OG (Original Grouch).

    Promising review: "I collect the 'bad guys' of different movies, tv shows, etc. Oscar is as close to a bad guy as you get in the Sesame Street muppet realm. He was also always my favorite so I was very excited to see this Funko Pop. I was not disappointed. He's absolutely adorable and the quality on this one was great." —TheHollows

    Get it from Amazon for $10.99.

    26. A dick mug because you're always saying that's what the coffee tastes like.

    Promising review: "The mug came in a lovely little box and the actual material of the mug is very smooth. I was surprised to find that the product was a little larger than the average mug of coffee. Fantastic, sarcastic gift for my father. A must-have." —Carter

    Get it from Amazon for $13.92.

    27. An ostrich pillow that you can use to block out all the people you don't want to talk to.

    Promising review: "This is a great pillow for those times when you simply want to shut out the world and be by yourself cuddled from all sides by this wonderfully soft cushion. I even bought one for a friend and my dad to use! They are going to love it!" —Aman_B

    Get it from Amazon for $99.99.

    28. A zippered pouch to help deal with all the people with sticky fingers in your life.

    Get it from Amazon for $12.90.

    29. A crewneck sweatshirt to wear while being dragged kicking and screaming out of your apartment.

    Get it from Look Human for $35 (available in sizes XS–3XL and four colors).

    When nothing can fix your horrible mood:


    Reviews have been edited for length and/or clarity.

    Looking for the perfect gift for any occasion? Check out all of BuzzFeed’s gift guides here!

    Ryan Pattie/BuzzFeed

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