11 Products For People Who Are Jealous Of Babies
I too just want to be swaddled and fed and left alone.
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1. A cozy onesie that is soooo much better than a pair of pants and a button-down. Why did we ever grow out of these things?
Get it from MeUndies for $78 (available in sizes XXS-2XL and 17 colors/patterns).
2. Fancy unsweetened applesauce so you can enjoy a mushy treat, even if the usual baby food staple is way too sweet for your adult palate.
It's made in Vermont with organic apples and apple purée. It has no added sugar, chemical pesticides, or artificial colors.
Get four cups from Public Goods for $4.25.
3. An adult swaddle that'll keep you snug and safe. Babies may be the champions of coziness, but we can still try to replicate it.
My co-worker has and loves this thing! Here's what she says:
"I recently replaced my weighted blanket with a Sleep Pod and I am never going back. I appreciated the comfort that I got from a weighted blanket, but it was so hot I wasn't able to last under it for long. It was also so heavy I couldn't take it with me anywhere. This design solves those problems. The fabric is breathable and so lightweight I can comfortably use it in the summer and I can throw it in my tote bag on vacations. I feel calm and comforted every time I get in. I've used it while napping, while trying to calm down before going to bed at night, and while sitting on the sofa/needing some extra stress relief when binge-watching Chernobyl got too stressful. I can't rave enough about this thing, but I'll certainly keep trying!" —Mal Mower
Get it from Hug Sleep for $99.99 (available in two sizes).
4. Foaming coconut epsom salt for a more sophisticated bubble bath.
5. Or some Crayola Bath Dropz to add some jazzy color to bath time.
Get 60 tablets from Target for $3.79.
6. An enamel pin dedicated to the ultimate baby: Baby Yoda.
Get the Child pin from HaveAnArtAttack on Etsy for $10 or the Yoda pin from HouseofPinkArt on Etsy for $10.99.
7. A stylish midcentury rocking chair that'll ease the pain of the knowledge that no one will be rocking you to sleep in a cradle any time soon.
8. An acrylic baby bun pin for all you wannabe babies out there.
9. A bottle of Aveeno baby lotion so you can have silky skin that's as soft as a baby's bottom.
10. A fancy mobile that is perfectly acceptable decor in a non-nursery. The original mobiles by Calder weren't for babies so let us reclaim those majestic spinners.
Get the lemon mobile from FeltBabyCorner on Etsy for $98.28+ (available in three sizes) or the iron mobile from Crate & Barrel for $34.95.
11. And a pair of earrings shaped like mini art deco mobiles to show off your love of the kinetic art.
Get them from SakuraPink on Etsy for $18.
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