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1. Inflatable cup holders so everyone's drinks can take join in on the pool fun.
2. A sharply dressed cactus sure to be the very first person you invite to your shindig.
3. A floating volleyball net to break out when the conversation starts to die down. This will fire everyone up!
4. A clear beach ball with a fun surprise inside.
5. A glittery mouth you'll be doing lip service for all day long.
6. A David Shrigley-designed swan thing for absurdist minimalists looking to have a :| kind of time.
7. A unicorn sprinkler just in case your guests want to rinse off the chlorine in the cutest way possible.
8. A shark mouth for sun-fearing folk who'd like a little shade out of their pool float of choice. It's also great for attacking your friends.
9. A legit flamingo boat so you and your pals can set sail for Party Town.
10. A transparent glitter tiger that's honestly making me do grabby hands at the computer screen. GIMME!
11. A mechanical bull-shaped float to add a little "yeehaw" to your hootenanny.
12. A transparent inner tube with fun yellow polka dots you'll definitely want to be spotted in.
13. A watermelon ball that, as the name suggests, is filled with water instead of air. Its weight makes it ideal for intense games of keep-away.
14. A retro phone float that's ringing right now! The '80s are calling and want an invite to your party.
15. A giant unicorn so you can glide across the water and say "see?! I told you they were real!"
16. A peach ring almost as good as the candy of the same name.
17. A pink convertible with room for snacks and drinks in the "trunk."
18. A corgi inner tube for anyone who wishes they could also have a corgi butt to shake.
19. An inflatable citrus- or leaf-patterned mini pool so you can have a pool party even if you don't have a pool.
20. A trio of water blasters to make everyone's pool experience a... well, BLAST!
21. An avocado floatie with a removable pit that doubles as a beach ball. What can't this magical green butter do?
22. A pack of color changing pool lights to really set the mood of the party.
23. An officially branded Hidden Valley ranch bottle float for people who love ranch almost as much as Dylan Sprouse.
24. A glittery noodle sure to make everyone say "I wanna take a ride on your disco stick." And it won't even be weird!
25. A flamingo ring toss game that may seem cute, but will lead to some fiercely competitive rounds.
26. A heart ring sure to beat out all the competition for best pool float.
27. A realistic pizza slice with ties so you can hook up with the other slices and form a whole pie.
28. And a wacky waving inflatable tube guy, so everyone knows where to get a used car— I mean, knows where the party is.
Me calling up everyone I know to come party in my imaginary pool:
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