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    31 Things That Will Be Rude So You Don't Have To Be


    1. A faux collar so you can curse people out in the fanciest way possible.

    2. A pack of abusive balloons that are honestly perfect for any occasion.

    3. A sassy mug with enough to say for the both of you.

    4. An explicit coloring book for when you need to relax THIS SECOND.

    5. A pair of socks that send a stern warning to all those who might annoy you today.

    6. RuPaul’s Drag Race–inspired notebooks with words of wisdom that everyone can benefit from.

    7. A bowling shirt that has you ~pinned~.

    8. A satin robe sure to help you finally unwind, once everyone gets the message.

    9. A book of rude hand gestures from around the world so you can silently curse people out no matter where you are.

    10. A glittery banner that sternly (but fairly) reminds everyone to GTFO by midnight.

    11. A surprise mug you can tilt back when you want to say "fuck you" but also need more coffee.

    12. A cropped sweater for anyone who thinks plastic bags are way too upbeat.

    13. A custom beret that can say any mean or dismissive phrase you want.

    14. A graphic tee wishing everyone could just leave or turn into cats.

    15. A notepad you can fill out and hand to anyone pissing you off today.

    16. A baseball hat that finishes the conversation when you turn away.

    17. An umbrella for flipping the bird to the birds, but also mostly to the rain.

    18. A pennant flag enamel pin that offers encouragement or admonishment, depending on who's reading it.

    19. A doormat with an ambigram that says "come in" or "go away" depending on your mood.

    20. Middle finger earrings so you can flip everyone off all day without straining your hands.

    21. A graphic tee revealing your true nature and hopefully getting you out of small talk.

    22. A sparkly embroidered patch that's just eye-catching enough to work.

    23. A pack of calling cards you can hand out to anyone who's annoying you.

    24. A pair of tights to wear on days you don't even have the energy to tell people off.

    25. A pastel key hook that will be the ~key~ to your solitude.

    26. A roll of middle finger washi tape for the most aggressive scrapbooking ever.

    27. A snarky beanie that gets everything sorted out before anyone has time to speak.

    28. A uterus decal for your car or laptop when everyone is just ~cramping~ your style.

    29. A really fucking cheery mug that lets everyone know how you feel.

    30. Racket vibration dampeners β€” just because you're vibrating with rage doesn't mean your racket has to.

    31. And a striped muscle tank with a flower that reflects how you feel inside: "touch me, and I will bite you."

    Maybe it's Maybelline, maybe it's go the hell away.

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