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31 Things That'll Say "Fuck Off" So You Don't Have To

Berets, robes, graphic tees, and other items to let people know how you ~really~ feel.

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4. An explicit coloring book for when you need to relax THIS SECOND.,

Promising review: "This book is amazing! I received it as a gift because I had to have knee surgery and was going to be laid up for a while! Made my day!" —Jacob Phillip Long I

Get it from Amazon for $5.99 or Walmart for $10.70.

5. A pair of socks that send a stern warning to all those who might annoy you today.

Promising review: "Bought a few pairs of these sassy socks for my 19-year-old daughter. I put them in her Christmas stocking. Not only were they a hit, minutes after she uncurled them, she was lining them up and taking a pic to text to her friends, lol. What kind of cool yet hilarious mom gifts these sassy socks to their kid? Me, that’s who!" —TheXRAYest

Get them from Amazon for $9.99 (also available in 12 other designs).


9. A book of rude hand gestures from around the world so you can silently curse people out no matter where you are.

11. A surprise mug you can tilt back when you want to say "fuck you" but also need more coffee.

Promising review: "This mug makes my day every time I look at it sitting on my desk! Perfect for my kind of humor and still discreet enough that no coworkers even know what’s on the bottom!" —KMill

Get it from Amazon for $8.14.


17. An umbrella for flipping the bird to the birds, but also mostly to the rain.

Promising review: "Awesome umbrella! I gave it as a gift and it was perfect! She opened it and laughed so hard. Opens nice and compacts well to fit in a large purse or car." —Kelly

Get it from Amazon for $9.99.

19. A doormat with an ambigram that says "come in" or "go away" depending on your mood.

Promising review: "I love this clever little mat. I gave it as a housewarming gift, and once everyone figured out the little upside-down trick, we all had a great laugh. Everyone enjoyed the gift. It's also a thick and substantial, although maybe a little too thick. I have tripped over it a couple times. But other than that, I would recommend this product." —Tina B.

Get it from Amazon for $31.12.


20. Middle finger earrings so you can flip everyone off all day without straining your hands.

Promising review: "These are AWESOME and they don't turn your ears green! I have worn these every day for months, never taking them out and they have NEVER caused me any problems, they have never lost color or shine." —Family of five

Get two pairs from Amazon for $8.29.


30. Racket vibration dampeners — just because you're vibrating with rage doesn't mean your racket has to.

Promising review: "This dampener is easy to get on and fits snugly. I've only used for one match but it locked onto strings and didn't slide after a mishit. A great way to let off a little steam when your opponent is taking the match too seriously." —thebabydoc

Get two from Amazon for $7.99 (available in six colors; also available in five packs).

31. And a striped muscle tank with a flower that reflects how you feel inside: "touch me, and I will bite you."