Skip To Content
  • lol badge

14 Things That'll Happen In 2017 According To "The Simpsons"

Shit's gonna be fucked up.

As we all know, The Simpsons is a sinister oracle with the power to predict the future.

So what treats might be in store for us in 2017? Let's see...

1. Some alt-right guy will invent the make-up gun.

2. There will be a referendum on whether or not to deport illegal immigrants.

3. Greedy, corrupt energy firms will cause an environmental catastrophe, and a dome will be built over the contaminated site.

4. The chandelier in Elton John's private jet will malfunction.

5. It will be made illegal to teach evolution in schools.

6. Facebook's algorithm will flag fake news but also sarcasm to make sure no one is confused by what they read online.

7. Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt will get fat after comfort eating their way through a messy divorce.

8. Empowered by seeing so many metaphorical clowns elected to positions of power in 2016, several actual clowns will stand in elections around the world. And win.

9. Benedict Cumberbatch will be cast as David Cameron in the dramatisation of Brexit.

10. Prohibition will return to several states in the US.

11. Stephen Hawking will learn to fly.

12. To cut costs, industry workers will be replaced by robots.

13. It will be revealed that an election was won because of voter fraud, with dead people and pets mysteriously casting votes.

14. White men will gloat.

OK, the future's scary but remember this: One day there will be a female president. The Simpsons said it will happen, so it must be true.