31 Terrible Moments All Picky Eaters Have Experienced
Everyone judging you for not liking mayo.
1. Ordering a meal and having to say things like “but without the mushrooms” or “no mayo” every single time.
2. Which frequently results in very obvious judgement and/or mockery from the waiting staff.
3. Which ALWAYS results in very obvious judgement and/or mockery from your friends.
4. When you don’t have the energy for the judgement so you just lie and say you’re allergic to foods when in actual fact you just think they’re trash.
5. Your friends being so used to your picky ways, that no food-based plans can be made without them double checking in the group chat whether or not there will be things that you can eat.
6. And they absolutely hate cooking for you, which means people generally just... don’t.
7. To the point that you’ll usually just end up taking your own food when you visit your friends.
8. Knowing that your parents will cook one meal for the rest of the family, and one much less adventurous one for you.
9. When you order a meal *without* a certain ingredient and it comes COVERED in that ingredient.
10. So you then have to send it back, resulting in a second – even more painful – round of embarrassment, mockery, and judgement.
11. When the food comes back for a second time and you’re 99% certain they literally just scraped it off.
12. Which for a truly picky eater is hard to deal with, because you know your food's touched something you hate.
13. Ordering something plain off the kids menu because WHO SAYS ADULTS CAN’T ENJOY NUGS?!
14. Living in fear of a situation where you don’t feel comfortable saying no – like when someone who doesn’t know about all your shit cooks for you.
15. So you just have to suck it up (quite literally) and eat just enough food that you don’t look rude.
16. But then from time to time this will result in an epiphany: HOLY FUCKING SHIT THIS IS ACTUALLY TASTY AF.
17. You immediately jump on the group chat and and tell everyone about your new found fave food.
18. And if they’re really your friends, they’ll all be incredibly proud of you.
19. Being offered free food in the workplace, which will be briefly very exciting, until you realise it’s covered in that thing you hate.
20. So you go to the same place and get the same thing for lunch for the 127th day in a row.
21. And then one terrible day... that place changes their menu and now the thing you relied on so much no longer exists. RIP, the only mayo-less sandwich in town.
22. When you meet someone new – particularly when you’re on a first date – and you try to hide the crazy for as long as possible, pretending to be a normal, functioning member of society.
23. But sadly the day always comes when you have to step out of the, “err, yeah, so... I don’t eat cheese” closet, so you just shut your eyes and hope for the best.
24. Getting constantly asked why you don’t like something, and realising you don’t have a more eloquent response than, “BECAUSE I DON’T”.
25. And very occasionally people will get angry at you for a thing that doesn’t affect them in any way.
26. Being the person that doesn’t eat all the canapes/decimate the buffet at parties.
27. Getting any sort of sandwich or burger and having to open it so you know EXACTLY what’s inside.
28. Then removing any offending items as subtly as possible.
29. Likewise with pizza toppings.
30. Being left with a little “reject pile” on your plate when you’re done, which never fails to fill you with shame.
31. Your proper friends knowing that spending time with you means one thing... they get first dibs on anything you don’t eat. Which is usually quite a lot.