1.
The "been shush-patting the baby for an hour and he's still not asleep" face.
2.
The "baby's finally asleep but now I have insomnia" face.
3.
The "just sat down to dinner and now the baby's crying" face.
4.
The "I was up with him all night so you can bloody well do the morning shift" face.
5.
The "been awake with the baby since 2am and now it's 9am" face.
6.
The "just changed the baby and he's immediately done a massive poo" face.
7.
The "holy shit there's no nappies in the nappy bag" face.
8.
The "what the hell happened in this nappy?" face.
9.
The "Hello, our baby is having a sleep regression" face.
10.
The "first night out since I had a baby, massively dolled up, will be going home to bed in 20 minutes" face.
11.
The "I think this is how humans behave, although I can't quite remember because I haven't slept for seven weeks" face.
12.
The "just got projectiled pooped on" face.
13.
The "I'm so glad your baby's sleeping through the night, thanks for telling me, no honestly, good for you" face.
14.
The "who the feck is dropping bass outside my baby's window?" face.
15.
The "just realised that when you have a baby it's forever, like forever forever" face.
16.
The "whole family has norovirus" face.
17.
The "don't you dare say you're more tired than me" face.
18.
The "Why are you still sleeping when our baby is crying" face.
19.
The "if your mother-in-law makes one more remark about my parenting skills I'm going to forcibly eject her from the room" face.
20.
The "going downstairs to get a bottle of milk for the 5th time tonight" face.
21.
The "don't drink that, that's breast milk" face.
22.
The "been on the road for nine hours with a crying baby who just pooed through his clothes" face.
23.
The "thank you for looking after our baby tonight, thank you, thank you, thank you" face.
24.
The "holy crap, did the baby just sleep for six straight hours?" face.
25.
The "baby's zonked out, let's crack open the wine" face.
26.
The "do I look like I want to have sex tonight?" face.
27.
The "I don't wanna be the parent, I wanna be the baby, someone swaddle me and hold me tight" face.
