8 Reasons NYC's "Santa Con" Is The Worst

Don't get me wrong, I'm all for a good bar crawl. But there is nothing us New Yorkers love more than to hate on things that cause us minor inconveniences.

1. The Morning Commute

If you're like me and you have the pleasure of working on Saturday mornings, you take some mild comfort in knowing that everyone else on that crowded 6 train is just as miserable. But on Santa Con morning, you get to pack in with 1 million already tipsy Santas who are not so discreetly sipping a beer out of a paper bag.

2. The Midtown Nightmare

Midtown is already a nightmare on every other weekend. Lets add 50 Santas who don't know where they're going shall we?

3. The coffee shortage

Andres Kudacki / AP

Bodegas are being pillaged of their beer and Starbucks has a line around the block filled with Santa capped people who NEED that snowman cookie.

4. It's like Halloween 2.0

Guys and Gals, it is December and I just can't bring myself to watch you freeze to death for the sake of that adorable Elf costume. I saw a guy in a red speedo today and I'M NOT OVER IT.

5. The Instagram Posts

You all have someone on your feed right now regretting that 3pm blackout post after 5 hours of spilling on the above mentioned adorable Elf costume.

6. The Packed Pizza Parlour

Forget that dollar slice to reward yourself for keeping your elbows to yourself on the sidewalks today.

7. The Noise

If I can hear you from my 5th floor walkup in the middle of nowhere you are doing something you shouldn't be.

8. The Train Ride Home

Those same people casually sipping beers a few hours earlier are sloshed and have no idea what happened to their belongings. You just might catch yourself slipping and helping a drunk girl put her shoes back on so she can get off the train.