4 Steps To Turn Envy Into Admiration

The rise of social media has brought us closer together, a little too close at times. Scrolling your feed on the daily can feel like multiple punches in the stomach due to that annoying green thing everyone gets sometimes ... no, not kale. Envy! Here's how to transform your envy into admiration in 4 self love packed steps.

1. Admit that you are feeling envious.

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'Wait, what? I already feel bad as it is, what do you mean, admit it?' Yup, the first step to solving any problem is leaving the denial zone and admitting what's up. Be honest with yourself. Why do her gorg selfies make you feel ugly? Why do his fitness videos make you wish you had abs? Why? Is it because you think your life would be better if you looked more like them? Had $ like them? You need to find the root of what you want about their life. Or maybe you don't actually want anything about their life. You will find your desire often has nothing to do with the person - it's really a reflection of a part of you that has not been expressed or fulfilled yet. Take this as an opportunity to explore your authentic self. If you can't do this inner work, you may fall victim to two icky outcomes: 1) Redirecting your envy into a much more sinister emotion and focusing on hating the person you're envious of, 2) Becoming a copy cat of said-person thinking that being like them will bring you happiness. At that point the hatred is a masked cry for help for a seriously overdue self-love makeover!

2. Acknowledge that abundance is on its way to you.

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Repeat after me: "Their success is NOT my failure. Their beauty is NOT lack of beauty in me. Their happiness does NOT mean there is less happiness available for me." Here's a life hack: everytime you see someone making it, leveling up and being successful, CHEER THEM ON and know that you are next! How soon is next? We have no idea! But trust me, it's coming and will come even faster and in creative and unexpected ways if you smile at the Universe and take every opportunity you can to be a cheerleader on the stands for someone else while you work on yourself too. We will all get our moment, trust that. Except ... you know who doesn't really get their moment? People who choose to sulk and wallow in envy and even jealousy and don't even know how to be happy when the good stuff is happening! Don't be that. Be phenomenal, cause you are.

3. Look inside, not outside for validation.

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Oftentimes when we are feeling envious and inadequate, we look for ways to upgrade our skills, our appearance and ... basically everything. We get weird, and not in the good way. We also look for validation from friends, significant others, Tinder ... you know how it gets. This is a trap because once you start looking for your worth in the opinions of other people, you have given away your power. Damn. Here's the life hack: Stop villainizing the feeling of envy and know that whenever you feel it, it's simply a sign that you want better for yourself (cause you love yourself aww), know you CAN have better and that it IS on the way. Smile at the Universe with gratitude, patience and hard work and it will smile back.

4. Give authentic compliments instead of feeding your envy and know abundance is on its way to you!

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Once you've perfected redirecting your envious feelings into self introspection and self love, this is the fun part: giving compliments. Now don't get all fake about it. Only give compliments you really mean. If you don't feel it in your soul, don't say it, don't type it. Think of scrolling through Instagram as Valentines Day in elementary school back in the day, passing out cute notes. Except this time you get to give them to the ones you really mean instead of evvvveryone. You know how awesome it feels to say "DAMNNNN GIRL" when you see a bomb selfie instead of awkwardly and silently sulking in envy and clicking the Mute or Unfollow button? Or worse, hating on her? Do you know the magic that creates when you authentically compliment someone else? It's like passing a $100 bill back and forth between you and your bestie. You're complimenting and cheering on people, they're complimenting and cheering you on ... the synchronous cycle continues. It's a beautiful thing. Goodbye awkward silent envy and hello, verbalized gratitude and authentic compliments. Live ya life!