HELO FRIENDS!!!!!
At a glorious 3′10″, I am a dwarf, which means one of two things: I can hide under a sombrero if need be (done it!) but also, that I’m a tiny, cute, dark skinned target for a lot of discrimination. And the most common form is people taking pictures or video of me without my consent. NO MEANS NO.
Usually, I’ve found it’s been secretive. Someone will take a snap of me as they walk past me in the grocery store (been there), someone will take video of me from across the room at the DMV (done that), but last week I found myself victim of a very painful case of this type of discrimination.
I was filmed while waiting at a traffic light by a group of young people in the car beside me. It lasted the entire length of a traffic light. At one point, they were laughing at me so hard, while filming me over and over again for Snapchat, their car was noticeably shaking. Don’t worry, you’ll see the video below.
It was humiliating in so many ways and I frequently find myself get anxiety thinking about it. But I’m trying to use this experience for good, to educate others on what it’s like to be perceived by society, or the general public as “different”. Also because I really want to use GIFs. Who's to say what my real motive is, right?
So come, sweet one. Take my hand. Let’s go on a journey.
Here's what happened:
1. Me. Driving Innocently. An angel.
2. My dwarf senses start to tingle.
3. I was right.
I casually make eye contact with the driver in the car next to me, as one does. And low and behold, the car is filled with a bunch of rowdy young people. They were less of:
And more of this:
And PLOT TWIST, their window was down, and the girl driving had her phone sticking out, filming me for Snapchat.
Like this, but way less shameful:
4. What to heck, right?
Honestly, my heart did stop a little. My face was flushed (well, it would’ve been if my skin tone permitted that). It was a completely surreal experience. I had no idea how to react. There were three people (one in the backseat), just feet away, laughing at me for something so minute in the spectrum of life/the world. I turned back around and looked down at my phone and started scrolling. It was the only thing I thought I could do.
Even though on the inside I had just strapped myself in for an emotional rollercoaster that included lots of twists and turns, like:
5. But that wasn't enough for me.
The little voice in my head that’s constantly screaming about dogs and baby goats was all, “What the heck dude?” So I looked up, turned to them and gave the group a polite look, because somehow I felt like I was the one at fault. For being me.
So I gave them a shortt, “I know you exist so please do us both a favor and maybe not do that thing you’re doing” look.
For example:
6. And, well, it didn't work.
In fact, by me acknowledging their inexcusable behavior, it was…funnier to them? At one point, the girl even turned around and put her Snapchat in selfie mode, so she could get both her and me in the frame.
Somehow, during this entire experience I thought maybe there was something else they were laughing at. That it wasn’t me. But alas, as she turned to selfie-mode, I saw her zooming in on me. Honestly, I looked cute AF, but the situation was not!
I was helpless, scared, ashamed, and at the hands of these strangers who were violating me and my identity. There was nothing I could do. Rolling down my window and addressing them would only be funnier for them. I couldn’t pull forward or back and escape them, so I was kinda just stuck there. My heart racing a million miles a minute. Not wanting to move or do anything to contribute to their videos. Imagining all the strangers who’d be laughing at the videos soon.
I was one sad, and very alone pupper.
7. So I did what I had to do.
I got out of my car, grabbed the knives I keep hidden behind my seat for protection, and slashed their tires.
jk.
I took out my phone and started filming them. After a few seconds went by, I felt guilty, so I deleted the video and put my phone back. But as the tormenting continued, I decided, “AUBREY. DO IT.” So I started filming them again. Because I needed proof for myself, proof that this wasn’t pretend. Proof that I wasn’t imagining any of this, that I wasn’t just an anxious person who thinks they’re being filmed all the time.
I’m no Steven Spielberg, so take a chill pill, but here ya go:
8. #PerspectiveYo
This particular incident really hit me hard. Now every time I drive I get overly paranoid. It sucks. But I was dead billions of years before I was born, and I’ll be dead for all of eternity after I die. Considering the time I have on Earth is so short comparatively speaking, why milk that one minute of pain I endured? I’m young, and I can just feel all the love, adventure, and joy to come in my future, so I’m choosing to look ahead instead of behind. #PerspectiveYo
Overall:
* It’s not weird for me to drive.
* Be confident with myself.
* Go about my life as someone who looks different.
* Different is ok. Different is cute. Different is bold. Different is memorable.
And the same goes for anybody else. Nobody should be ashamed for being who they are. If your quirks are something that are laughable to anybody and not celebrated, that’s on them.
But I will continue working on remembering these things instead of painful moments like these, because otherwise, I’ll never be able to move ahead.
9. Life goes on. I'm still adorable af.
And I love being a dwarf. I mean, who knows where I’d be if I was an average height human, person, thing. Maybe I’d be an astronaut, maybe I’d be selling perfume at a Macy’s, maybe I’d be a backup dancer for Beyoncé. I mean, who knows, right? Regardless, being a dwarf has been an amazing, eye-opening reminder that everybody is different, has their own struggles I know nothing about, and anybody can be cute as a button (like me) if they want to. It’s a constant uphill battle, but hey, embrace the challenge and excel.
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