1. WARNING: SEASON 2 SPOILER ALERT. Do not read this if you haven’t seen all of Season 2.
I don’t understand. It feels like just moments ago I felt the rush of pressing play after an ENTIRE YEAR of waiting for Season 2. Where did the time go?! There’s no way I’ve listened to “You’ve Got Time” 13 times. This can’t be real.
It’s not fair! What am I supposed to do for the next year? You can’t just hook me on the best show ever and then only give me 13 episodes. DID YOU REALLY THINK I WAS GOING TO SPACE THEM OUT AND MAKE THEM LAST?! Because if you did, then fuck you.
I’m sorry if I was behaving irrationally. Let’s talk about this like two adults. What if you give us the new episodes as you finish editing them? That way everybody wins. Or at least you could give us a few spoilers? Is Alex really coming back? Is Vee dead? What’s the deal with Larry the lame-o? Is he gone forever?
- sobs violently at desk * I just don’t understand why you would do this to me? I thought we were friends. Why wouldn’t you want to give me more episodes? How do you expect me to love any other TV shows?? It’s you, OITNB. It’s always been you.
Well, I guess this is how it has to be. Que sera, sera. Whatever will be, will be. It’s been so nice getting to know you. I can’t wait until we meet again. I loved every second we spent together. Just do me a favor and don’t forget about me, because I’ll be thinking of you.
7. I promise I’ll try and be strong. But really:
- Top Mexican soccer player Alan Pulido has been kidnapped outside of his hometown in Tamaulipas, a high-crime state.
- Yep. Marco Rubio said he's sorry for implying Donald Trump has a small penis.
- Lights have turned Australia's most iconic buildings into seriously psychedelic works of art.